Sept 27, 2008

Sometimes I really wonder how I survive through my previous ordeal. I myself till now still dun really remember...

I wonder how many ppL actually know when was my sadess moment in life.. but i think apparently, no one can tell when exactly was the worst time of my life...

It's the day when I broke up with darran.. It was not the breaking up that coz the deep impact in my life, but rather it was till my limit already... Some of u wonder how come I tend to tell my problems away and make ppL feel like that person is so bad.. I wasn't wrong in saying whatever I feel.. I din have a true frien whom I can share my tots with, that's y I put it out here... There r alot of hidden facts which I do not say out but I keep it to myself i always feel tt I dun have to explain myself for everything i did becoz i treasure everythin I have, thus I bear the hurting words and thoughts myself.

Whenever I am in a r/s, I tend to shut the down the doors of my friens and I know u all r very angry at me. I'm sry and I realized there's no turning back.. I don't put the blame on anyone becoz I know I am the one who created the future of my own...

You may call me one emotional freak who is easily affected by things that happens.. even it is repeated.. It's not call nv learn my lessons but rather sometimes when u r faing the situation, no matter how well u r prepared to overcome it, u wont be in the state of mind to do tt...

All these yrs.. I felt that I have did my part in my company and they dun seems to appreciate my efforts.. I'm trying hard to prove myself but my mind also wish to do something of my interest and I am easily affected by what other says.. esp if my boss tells me to stay and how much I meant to the company blah blah blah... i will start to feel otherwise.. though it is short-term but when i hear someone saying something else.. i will re-start to think...

At this point of life... i dun have a very true frien... either do i have an ideal career... nor do I have an ideal r/s.. it's too late for me to re-build already.. i know everyone wouold say i'm still young and i can continue to re-build... but the matter of fact is I have done it so many times and I failed.. and I am really tired.. but of coz sucide is not the solution to all the above, but rather an irresponsibLe act..

Which girl doesnt want to be loved and being taken care of... If guys only want a girl to take care, the girl has to be very independent which unfortunately... i am not.. do I have to say all those things that I have experienced before, then I can be loved and taken care of.. I think by then it becomes sympathy rather than love..

Who really knows that my father claims how he loves me, but he was the one who ignored me since young,.. which child does not wish to have a happy family when borned.. Whenever I am in a r/s out with the guy I love.. who actually knows that I bear all the sarcastic remarks from friends and even my parents... My parents can even tell me... y r u back so late.. everytime mid nite then come home... u treat this house like hotel? or r u working till so late... if u r workin till so late.. what job can tt be? A Prostitue? or what... at times when i go bf house to stay.. my parents would say.. dun always go other guys house to stay.. how will ppl feel.. u r a loose woman, etc... imagine how hard i try to please my bf but i need to bear such words from my parents and who would actually understand that I am also a human and i have feelings too...
Imagine your parents telling u such a thing but your close frien and loved one does not know... do anyone exactly understand how i feel..

I dun tend to look ard for so many friends to share my problems.. that is why i juz release it out here... if ppL are also stopping me to say it out here.. i think i will have a second breakdown... which i think it is soon to be.. i'm trying every way I can to maintain the current mood i have but i can tell u its nt easy... i am not so fortunate like everyone who has a happy family and wonderfuL friens ard...

Even now I see in my office... my colleagues called me out initially but in the end say dunno not going and suddenly they are out again without callin me... instead only ask my bro along... hai.. i always have lunch with my bro and dun have much chance to go lunch with other ppl.. though he always allows me once in a while to join my friends.. but he is leaving soon.. i need to start looking for lunch kakiz again.. hai.. i am really tired of always making 1st move to do everything.. becoz it nv pays to be initative.. for the nx half yr of my life.. i think i will juz be quiet in the office and juz do what i am told to do... I think i will not take any initiative until my courage has been build up..

This is all I can say now.. Wish myself happiness~

Year 2008 - Hong Kong Trip

Just an update in life.. seems like almost 1 yr plus have past and I have not updated my bLog~

In this one whoLe year, so many things have happened and again another year of experience.

Actually, I feel that there is nth much I can update in life. Still a singLe lady searching for my dreams in life. Don't worry ppL, I am still living happiLy though so many things have happened.

Nevertheless, I had the best time in March 09 - March 16 in Hong Kong. ^^

March 09

Runa, Cynthia and her Husband, Matthew and me, 4 of us went to HK. We took the morning flight at 640am and arrived abt 1020am at HK Internation Airport!!! CooL~

Met up with Iris - Hong Kong Colleague, and of coz, Panda jie, Kai and Leo from GB for lunch at a dim sum rest and we headed to Nu Ren Jie after that.

We shopped ard at Mongkok and bought alot of things too.

March10

Disneyland~~~ Here we are at Disneyland.. haha... so cool rite?? Look at this.. still cannot forget this picture.. OMG.. so cute so cute.. heee.. how I wish I can stay in disneyland a few more days~ hahaha.. This is a pic of me kissing with the Cat Marie.. Not Rabbit Not Mouse or what.. its a CAT!!! loL... I have another pic below.. Stitch and Isabelle.. loL.. Its cute.. is it not?

March 11

Here we are to Lantau Island.... Da Yu San... loL.. we took cable car over.. to see the BIG buddha~ haha... so high and big up there... remembering I and runa posting on the staircase below the big buddha, just like the buddha himself.

In the evening, went to the shopping center.. forgot the name (will update when i remember or find out), whereby they sell alot of outlet goods and well.. bought myself a pair of nice shoes for HKD$220 which was initially HKD$799. So cooL..

Later went to have dinner at the Yung Kee at Central... the goose meat was so nice... wow.. but heard the standard dropped? not sure.. but to me.. it taste nice.. loL.. This time, I met up with Jocelyn - HK colleague too.. and SHARK - my GB dear came too loL.. faint... of coz Iris and Kai came too.. cool... and after dinner, we went Lam Gui Fong... woah... nice pLace.. but well.. the drinks was a little ex.. loL..

March 12

Wed!! Wow.. Time flies fast in HK.. seems like its the 4th day already.. OMG.. we went to Macau today.. cooL right.. Went to look ard.. Da San Ba.. a location in Macau that u cant miss.. well.. honestly fact is tt.. there is nth much left.. only ruins of the historical pLace.. haha.. We ate Portuguese egg tart... so delicious and yummy compared to SG.. loL.. We ate Portuguese food for dinner too.. well a bit of a different aspect but still not so bad..

At nite, we headed to Venetian Hotel.. OMG.. the glamorous and biggest hotel in Macau.. one of which you can never miss to see in Macau.. The shopping arcade itself is already a maze.. what more is the casino... There is still east, west, north wing entrance i think.. loL.. woah... more more more to go...

March 13

The fifth day already... so fast so fast.. today we go to Ocean Park.. haha... Nothing much to say.. juz queueing and pLayin.. well.. din have time gto finish all.. but those above, we managed to finish.. but those below.. hardly have time coz.. queueing for the cable car already takes an hour.. loL.. what more we are there late... :D

After tt we went to the peak to see the night scenery.. so nice.. and the weather.. omg.. cant imagine how nice it is compared with SG.. hee.. We ate Jap food today... hee.. then we took a tram back to Central... so cute.. the tram is going down hill.. but we face upwards and move backwards..

After which we sat the "ding ding", electric tram on the road itself.. so cheap.. HKD$2 and pass by a number of MTR stops. when to causeway bay for desserts.. so nice.. Mango and Durian :D

March 14

Training in AA HK.. I have a 1/2 training here.. heee... ppL all scold me y i go back training during my holi.. lol.. nth wrong ma.. I work hard..play hard.. tt's why~ hee... SG has a open concept of office but HK quite crap.. heee.. Seen ppL in CS, OPs, CAS and sales too. so nice to have lunchie with them too... omg.. dim sum.. haha.. again.. nice... After tt, I met one of the clients too. Had a tea break with him. In the nite.. had dinner at soho.. nice pLace for eating.. wow.. Hong Kong is really a paradise.. lol... this time dinner is with runa's boyfrien's buddy kelvin and his friens.. well.. dinner pLace was nice.. after which we went to drink somewhere at Tsim Sha Shui... so nice... keep pubbing so many days loL...

March 15

Aww sat... coming to end of the trip already.. T.T today did some shopping... walk ard here and there... bought my ISO finally.. haha........ and of coz.. shopping for today. We went to have dinner buffet at a japanese buffet rest.. gosh.. nice.. loL.. eat so much.. 8 of us had dinner - Runa, Iris, Cynthia, Matthew, Kai, Panda Jie, Shark and me... :D Well... there's always an ending to every thing.. so no choice... though very reluctant, but still.. neeed to leave soon T.T At nite.. we went clubbing.. we pLayed Dice game - Dai Hwa Sei.. haha.. Panda jie and kai.. are real big liar.. loL..

March 16

Friens Anyone?

~! ^^ Friens - Making Session ^^ !~

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(^.^) (^_^) (,")(",) (*.*) (*_*)

Hiiiiiyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I'm doing a new tryout to see how the response go.. haha.. too boring lately that's why.....

Hi ppl, I feel like making more friends, preferrably from Singapore I supposed.... But from other countries are also alrite, we can be penpal (or rather email-pal), coz i always wanted since young!~ Cool...

(*.^)(^.*) (,")(",) (^.*)(*.^)

Looking for FRIENDS who are like the following:
1.Travelling round the world :p
2.Active and Outgoing
3. Friendly and Socialable
4. Talkative or Chatable
5. Preferrably 23 to 35

Well, I am not looking for boyfriens.. dun make me sound like a desperate.. ^^
Girls are obviously more welcome... I am not les... but of coz I like to make more girl friens as I have little of it.

In addition, I would really like to know if another works in Shenton Way? So I can have lunch with.. haha.. of coz this applies to my current friens!!~

Feel free to email me at winterger35@hotmail.com .
No junk mails, chain mails or spam mails PLEASE!!
Hope to hear from Someone soon!~ haha...

(*_^)(^_*) (,")(",) (^_*)(*_^)

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The Moon is Alone!~

Once upon a time, there lives a Moon. She used to be very cheerful and happy no matter wat happens. She is afraid to hurt all the stars around her so she stay cheerful to light up all the star's life. She told most stars who are close with her "No matter wat happens, you should smile. Smile is happiness. It might not heal the pain caused completely but rather relief the pain at that current moment. When u smile, the stars around u will smile. It's rather great! Do give it a try. " This was how the Moon lived by all these years.

One day, all the stars starts to leave her one by one... She felt happy for them as she knows that they have found the route of happiness. Though she feels sad belong alone..she never give up. She waits for new stars to come by and go and accepted the way life was.

One year, on her birthday, she realized the normal gathering was never there b4. Hopes and wishings was gone. Her heart was scattered. She could not really believe and accept the fact that life at times can be so cruel. This might not be the most cruel thing everyone goes thru. To her, it is also not the worse. All these years, after being bullied and insulted by some many stars.. the Moon stays strong and look around for her happiness too. Not every stars can accept her past nor even befrien her after knowing what has happened to her. So the Moon decided to keep mum abt the past and move on.

On one very fine day, one bright Star suddenly appeared in front of her. Other stars do not find this Star attractive except her. The Moon felt a way she has never b4 and decides to share with the Star everything abt herself. The Moon was very happy that the Star listens to her and did not look down on her. The Star also tried to share with her his problems. The days were splendid though it was just awhile. Then one day, they had a slight misunderstanding. The Star did not talk to the Moon anymore. Moon was in despair was again. She tried all ways to make the Star stays but nevertheless, the Star left. The Moon could not understand why the Star left. After trying so hard, she decides to give up. "勉强是没幸福的。如果他是属于你的，他终究还是会是你的。如果他不属于你的，你怎么勉强，他都不会是你的。" Knowing that she cant keep him, the Moon let the Star go find his own happiness.

The brightness of the Moon now is 2.5/10. So dull.. So lifeless. The Moon does not know how long the brightness will last. She will hold it to her last breathe to bright up all the stars life, b4 she turns dark.

To her dear Stars, u all should know that the Moon never leaves u when u never leaves her. Remember the days she bought happiness in your life. The cheerful smile she once gave u and also the lovely thoughts she has for u. For those Stars who read this blog, it may not be the closest Stars to the Moon, but she ever one light up your life. Dun go harsh on her, caused she still wish all stars happiness even though they arent friens or never contact anymore.

The Moon once hereby still wish that all her friens can find happiness and can solve their existing problems as soon as possible. Dun forget, the Moon is always there for all her Stars. The Stars should know!!

2nd Sept 2006

Who actually remembers this day??

June 2005 - July 2006

After this period of time, I realized I learned alot and also know how everyone is like now. I think I dun wish to mention names in here as I believed you wont even bothered to care in the first place whether I do exist or not.

I treat everyone who treats me as a frien as frien. If you think that finding a frien is like finding a gf, then sry I really cant help u. I am neither pretty/beautiful/gorgeous nor maybe nice looking. I am fat and ugly. FINE with everyone out there? Muz everyone nowadays really need to look at looks b4 u can be friens. It doesn't always pay to be good.

Next, pls all, I am not ur ATM. Dun think tt I am very rich.. I myself haven even found a job and I see everyone turning to me for money.. kaoz.. When u all borrow.. u all can say how sweet things r.. but when come to returnin.. where have u all gone to. I am not rich tt u all can borrow and then keep on draggin it. I also have my limits. After lending you all, I dun have money, I have to cancel alot of on going events. Even my birthday, also muz call off if I really dun have enuff cash. Imagine how good I have treat u. Most of u are not my close friens or best friends, and I have done so far for wat a frien should do.. Dun u think tt I have overdo as a frien? Can you all kindly spare a tot for me? However, I do not forget those who have also lend me money when I needed and also pay for my expenses when I am really down in cash.

Sometimes I juz need a listening ears or maybe a companion to keep my ,mind occupied then to be alone. I am glad tt I do have friends who r straight forward. Can meet means can meet.. Dun keep telling me see first and dun reply.. And nx time dw the road, u come saying y i never call u along when there are outings or gatherings. You the 1st one who din wan to come meeting me in the 1st place, so pls do not come saying me not jioing u out. I am someone who do not like to call someone out after being rejected a few times. If you all wan, juz set a time and place for me to meet and I will go, but whether leaving early or not depends on the crowd.

I am quite upset recently as I feel that watever have been said has never been listened in and can repeat the same questions again and again. If I have said the thing already for so many times, y cant u juz rem and stop askin me the same thing. To get a thing done is it really tt difficult? How come I always hear ppl saying "I dunno", "see how", "not sure", "maybe", "see 1st", etc.. wat happens if i say to u or maybe the person who u calls out keep saying this to u.. how do you feel?

I am rather upset xia!~ My birthday is coming next month and out of 10 whom I ask, none of them say confirm they will come. Is it really so hard to ask u all out? Well, since it's not easy to celebrate my bdae, then I'll juz call it off. Giving ppl at least 3 weeks notice all tell me see how. See how = not going? or last min then tell me.. how am I supposed to organize if no one can cfm with me.

Maybe I should juz let go and not cling on to any matter.. if no one can wans to help me then i will help no one. Since all like to tell me see how 1st, then I will tell u all see how 1st nx time. No more priorities given to anyone special already. I will meet the person who fixed me the time and place first after comfirming the meeting. And well of coz... ppl.. if u any of my friens now wans to call me out, and if i am free and within budget constraint, I will come!~

Horoscope Compatability!~

Virgo and Virgo

Both of you are prone to have fits of perfectionism, and at such times you are extremely critical and difficult to please. You may vacillate between extreme neatness and sloppiness, or be very particular about some things but very casual or even sloppy in handling other areas of life. Because each of you has an eye for detail and can be very skilled and exacting when you put your mind to it, you have the potential to work together very well in any area that requires extreme care and attention. There is the problem, however, that your combined perfectionism may make both of you dissatisfied with anything that you attempt. Both of you like to express your love for someone by doing practical things for that person, and both of you enjoy helping out with daily chores and various tasks. The similarity in your traits makes you a well-matched couple.

There is smooth sailing between these two Virgos as long as they don’t nit-pick each other to insanity. Both seek perfection and stability in a relationship. And what better zodiac sign to meet that bill? They are both responsible and serious and can bring the best out in each other. Compatibility Rating = 10.

Virgo and Sagittarius

While VIRGO tends to focus on the trees, SAGITTARIUS is interested in the forest. Very often VIRGO points out problems with specific details of any situation, while SAGITTARIUS would rather discuss the overall, general outlook rather than the practical details. These different approaches can balance each other. They are also likely to conflict with each other at times, especially when SAGITTARIUS feels that the details will take care of themselves and VIRGO should simply have more faith in the process. VIRGO can be guilty of spending so much time criticizing the details that the overall goal of an otherwise excellent plan is missed. SAGITTARIUS, on the other hand, may need VIRGO's detailed analysis but not be willing to admit it.Positively, you can work together with SAGITTARIUS providing a great deal of vision and enterprise, and VIRGO providing a great deal of practical advice, expertise, and skill. However, it is inevitable that SAGITTARIUS will feel annoyed with VIRGO's pettiness and criticism at times, and VIRGO will feel frustrated by SAGITTARIUS's sloppiness of thought or behavior. Much humor, tolerance, and awareness of your legitimate differences will be needed to work these problems through.

Think of the fable of the grasshopper and the ant, and you have got the groundwork for a relationship between a Sagittarius and a Virgo. If these two learn to work together and cooperate they just might have a relationship. But it’s too easy for each one of them to get on each other’s nerves. Compatibility Rating = 5

Virgo and Gemini

The two of you are both intellectual creatures, more rational than emotional, and you have a good mental rapport. You both love to talk and you appreciate one another's wit. VIRGO, however, has a more practical, down-to-earth turn of mind, while GEMINI just enjoys playing with ideas, without needing a purpose or practical application for them. GEMINI is also more of a risk-taker and will gladly do something once "just for the experience" while VIRGO is more careful, cautious, and discriminating. For the most part, however, you understand each other well, and can be quite compatible.

This is the proverbial parent child relationship! Gemini eyes are forever roaming while the Virgo seeking security within the relationship. Too much energy will be wasted on the Gemini trying to make them commit where their intrinsic nature is to see out new activities. Not a fun time for the Virgo! Compatibility Rating = 1.

Virgo and Capricorn

Both of you are very practical, well-grounded people. You are responsible, trustworthy, and mature as well. CAPRICORN is a little more inclined to develop a strategy and plan for success, and have a practical scheme for advancing in career, while VIRGO tends to rely more on practical skills and personal talents. VIRGO enjoys providing a clear, tangible service to others. Your energies blend together well, and you can be a very effective team in business affairs and practical undertakings. It is possible that your relationship will be a bit dry or mundane, particularly if the romantic and/or sexual connections between you are not very strong. The joy, color, and light side of life may be missing.

These two people are compatible in the fact that they are both grounded. Two logical minds at work here. They love each other’s quick intellect and sharp mind. They are faced with the challenge of loosening up and risking the fact that they must be venerable to another in order for this relationship to grow. This relationship is compatible as long as you both express your deep feeling for each other. Compatibility Rating = 9.

Virgo and Cancer

Both of you are inclined to mood changes that, at times, can irritate each other. For example, CANCER experiences periods of melancholy, tenderness, concern, worry, nostalgia and sentimentality, which VIRGO may not understand or sympathize with. VIRGO can suddenly become irritated and irascible over minor annoyances, and at such times, is capable of intense sarcasm and criticism, which can be extremely disconcerting to CANCER's tender, sensitive feelings. VIRGO must be prudent, and CANCER must strive to be forgiving when things go a little awry. However, you are both capable of enormous devotion to one another (and to your children if you have them), and taking care of one another comes naturally to you.

There is an interaction of where the mind meets the body in this paring. This can turn the romance into a creature comfort relationship where the two mates balance each other out. The relationship provide steadiness. Compatibility Rating = 10.

Virgo and Taurus

You are very harmonious together and very helpful to one another. You are both very practical people and you work effectively as partners, in work or in marriage. You can build a rich and rewarding life together, for you are able to completely devote yourselves to one another (and your children if you have any).TAURUS is steadier emotionally than VIRGO is, and VIRGO appreciates TAURUS's consistent nurturing, healing, and soothing qualities. You share a great interest in food; VIRGO is especially concerned with nutrition and is somewhat fastidious, while TAURUS just thoroughly enjoys it!This is likely to be a long-lasting relationship.

Taurus provides stability at the home front while Virgo nurtures the Taurus so that they can face the day. Taurus get past Virgo pickiness when it comes to choosing a partner. They can make a great pair. Compatibility Rating = 6.

Virgo and Scorpio

Your essential natures are compatible, as both of you share a certain level of practicality, the need to analyze and dissect people and life, and a rather introspective approach to life's challenges. There are times, however, when SCORPIO strides fearlessly into a challenging situation, and VIRGO feels much more cautious and careful. SCORPIO may consider VIRGO to be too timid, and VIRGO may feel that SCORPIO lacks prudence. There are also many situations where SCORPIO is more stubborn and persevering than VIRGO. SCORPIO may view VIRGO's lack of commitment and dedication to a single purpose to be a sign of weakness. There is also the possibility that VIRGO will view SCORPIO as being a bit crude, too passionate or emotionally attached to certain situations or ideas. VIRGO has refined sensitivities and sometimes literally doesn't like to get "dirty hands", while SCORPIO is more primitive, raw, and unsqueamish. You both need to strive to harmonize your different natures and not antagonize each other, but the chances of doing so are very high, as you both sense in one another a generally compatible attitude towards life.

Virgos are originally intrigued by the Scorpio's deeply passionate sexuality. It’s the Scorpio that loves the Virgo security and stability. These two possess the makings for a potentially long-term love affair! Compatibility Rating = 7.

Virgo and Libra

LIBRA loves company and can talk endlessly with friends, and loves to hear others' experiences and thoughts on any subject. LIBRA is very accepting of different points of view and is disinclined to judge or even clearly evaluate what others say. VIRGO, on the other hand, loves to analyze and criticize, and is intolerant of illogical or erroneous thinking. VIRGO is more demanding of others and confronts others when necessary. LIBRA finds these confrontations extremely uncomfortable and often embarrassing. VIRGO is much more exacting and demanding in all areas of life. At worst, VIRGO can view LIBRA as wishy-washy, and LIBRA can view VIRGO as prim and intolerant, but hopefully your appreciation of each other is much better than this! At best, your different natures can complement each other without annoying each other.

Libra is all too carefree for the Virgo’s practical view on life. They usually don’t see eye-to-eye. Libras love to cherish others with their affection and gifts (within budget of course) but the Virgo spends too much time on the budget to really focus on the relationship at hand! Compatibility Rating = 2.



How true are they??? haha.. I also dunno.. somehow I supposed..
Where are my Virgos, Capricorn and Cancer??? muahahahaha....

30 June

3rd Day
Today we were still in Hang Zhou.. we stayed here for 2 nitez and explored here.. Today after the trip, the tour guide specially brought a couple of us to the nite spot in Shanghai.. Wow.. it is cool, somehow like Singapore but then 1 thing. their beers are really damn cheap!! cheap until u will scream :p 100 yuan for 24 bottles of local beers.. tt is like SGD $1+ .. izzi not cheap??

4th Day
Today we set for Su Zhou, haha.. interesting ppl here.. the guys here are not so manly like every other guys? At here, wow we visiting silk factory and was taught how silk is made... well my mum initially wanna buy tt b4 she came, so she bought.. as her CC was overcharged, I had to pay for her 1st.. omg.. tt cost me SGD $210 i supposed :( so sad.. no money xia.. aiyo.. -.-"

5th Day
Today we heading to Nan Jing.. Know how the ppl here look like? In this state, the females are all very very tall man.. aiyo... she is so tall xia.. -.-" not only tt, most of the other gers in Nan Jing are also very very the tall.. goodness... Gers... imagine, they are all above 1.7m in height -.-"
We went to visit Sun Yat Sen Memorial and learned abt his history.. he was moved from Beijing to Nanjing at tt time.. The government finally decide to move becoz his body started to decay during the war after he died for 4 yrs and then they finally decide to move him to Nan Jing.. There is 392 flight of stairs to reached to his tomb.. the feeling is juz like Da Vinci Code, if u have watched the show... At here, we visited the Chinese medical Centre and was explained wat Chinese mecidine and medical studies is all abt.. lol.. then we also bought one antisetic cream for my skin.. my youngest uncle bought the most xia.. lol.. he buy 1000+ RMB.. lol.. It juz seems like we juz spend and spend and spend.. aiyo... really no comments..

6th Day
Today we head to Wu Xi... Wow it is so hot xia.. It is getting so hot each day xia.. At Wu Xi, we came and then they bring us see pearl.. again alot ppl buy.. lol.. my mum again bought pearl powder, welll it was expensive I supposed.. it is SGD$20.. coz my aunty is in this line, she says tt the necklance is fake and the pearl is a little exp.. lol.. well.. i also have no idea man.. haiz... WuXi is the 2nd last stop..

7th Day
This is our final stop... and also we r back in Shanghai again.. lolx... we visited the so-called orchard road in Shanghai, and also saw He-Ping(Peace) Hotel.. the design is the olden british design.. well.. can also really expect china to have toilets like Singapore.. well.. not really saying tt China is bad.. juz tt, maybe I am not so used to it as I stayed so long in Singapore so long already.. In the nite, we visited the 东方明珠塔.. Shanghai's Media Centre.. lol.. they had a restuarant rite at the top of it.. it is the evolving rest juz like singapore one.. lol.. can see the nite scenery of Shanghai, but the feeling is juz like Singapore's Shenton Way...

8th Day
Today we have left the tour group and moved on on our own to collect the clothes tt my family members made on the 1st day. As today was Xiang Yang Jie last day, we went there for the last shopping, however, I din buy much as my mum wasnt in the mood to shop so i also sianz.. lol.. bought 4 tops for my friens.. and nth else le.. lol... we had Singapore Style Chicken Rice today and we were lucky as today is the last day and the place is closin too.. lol.. Nth much also.. haha.. Now at my uncle's place.. nth much to do also.. so sianz... Will continue when the trip continues.. I will stay here until 7July. And I'll be back on 7th July.. 9+pm i supposed... lol.. dun miss me too much.. wait for me back ba :)

24 June 2006

Shanghai Holiday Trip
Today is 24 June 2006. 2nd day reporting LIFE in SHANGHAI!!! lol... yes yes I am now in Shanghai fyi :p

First Day
Well... 1st day was a free day lorz.. lol.. Shopping day.. 1st time in my trip i have a free day on the 1st day.. :p Went to Xiang Yang Jie... The place where Shanghai is famous for its fake goods... well.. I bought quite alot of stuff as if it is my shopping paradise.. spend quite alot xia.. Let me see... I buy 2LV bags, 1 blouse, 1 adidas socks, 1chanel sunglass coz my spolit when i bring :(.. then i also buy eh eh... cant think.. so far i recall all this only lol... Today I met up with my uncle and aunty and cousins who came last xmas and also whom i stay with when i was much younger.. so many yrs have passed and my cousin - the oldest daughter in the family is already 16 yrs old man.. lol.. so fast time really flies... When I reached Shanghai.. we took an express train from Airport to city which is only 7 - 8 mins long.. if we take bus, it will be 40mins long.. Imagine how far it is from airport to town man... Surprisingly the tour guide dun even know what time it operates... then ask us to go to KFC 1st and who knows.. It is still not operating yet too... He seems to have little knowledge on all these things in China.. but however his cultural and history knowledge is really fantasy and marvellous I can say.. :p
When we reached town, we took the bus to hotel and settle down.. and tt was the end of the day.. Free-and-easy time.. had breakfast at ops our hotel.. and service was bad.. and food was lousy.. wat to do.. then after tt we went to bath.. then rest awhile b4 my aunty came pick us up..

Well one special thing some ppl might not know.. In China, as long as u r a foreigner u cannot drive even if u migrate there too... My uncle employed a driver and drive us everyday to lunch somewhere at NanChang Road.. haha.. I was see this when I was working in Microsoft... well.. then we went to the Xiang Yang Jie to shop until 7pm then when to a high class rest to have dinner.. which cost us 1000RMB which is abt 200+SGD.. We really ate alot xia.. If we eat tt amount in Sinagpore.. perhaps it will cost us ard 500+SGD.. but then well this is Shanghai... Anyway.. it was my uncle's Birthday 23 June. Woah.... After dinner, they send us back to Hotel and we left our things with them so it wont be heavier.. lol.. but I will have a hard time going back Singapore on the last day lol....

Second Day
Today 1st day of visitin and it is not in Shanghai.. In Wu Zhen.. if u see wrongly ppl always pronon it as Niao Zhen (Bird Town) lol... then we had lunch there.. there go see see look look.. then we go to Xi Hu to see the lake... then at nite to Hang Zhou for dinner and then back to hotel.. cool man.. at least today i dun have to slp on hard bed.. the room is bigger and no xtra beds... they provide 3 beds for us.. so nice...

While writing this... I am feeding mosquito :( sobzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... haha.. my blood muz be sweet they like it so much lol.. my frien juz tell me.. y hotel also got mosquito.. gd question man.. i also wan to know man.. lol... why ah?? hehe...

Well 2molo will go where?? Take Boat!!! not so sure.. The tour guide say so... well.. will continue the nx time i come online to update with the trip though it is not really tt interesting.. exciting compared to my other trips b4.. so far I find this not a gd one seriously.. but 2nd day only.. let's move on to see how.. Miss me more friens!~ :p

31 May 2006

Wow.. it's the last day of May! Time really flies...

Anger
Yes, I do admit I am rather pissed off.. So y r u still bringing it up after so long.. Look who's talking now... I have already remove my blog partially and still i received this negative comments.. I am seriously very pissed lorz.. Stop being so childish to fight for ur rights la.. if things are the truth, the truth will be out.. so stop coming to me and always start saying abt all these.. This is one reason why i do not really wan to reply u in MS, MSN or even in email!~ coz it still comes back to square one.. no ending.. I am trying to put a stop, but u r always continuing.. if u cant let go and forget the past and keeps saying that I am wrong, there is no way we can get back together.. I am nt saying tt I want to get back or not wanting.. Yes I did avoid going out with u several times.. becoz u always provoke me in ways u dunno.. tt's y i dun wan to go out.. I am sad tt we do not work well, but i am so happy that I can get over this.. so I hope u really can think thru things b4 coming to say me again.. is it really necessary to do all these things now.. worth to even spoil the last friendship between us?

Work
So far, I haven found work lately!~ haha... Well, due to the fact that I will be going abroad on June 23, I am not able to commit to any job.. have been trying to find part time or a one month job, but nevertheless, i cant find.. So i really have to endure until i am back.. I wonder how long can I last?? lol.. I mean in terms of MONEY!!! lol...

Maple Story
There is a great deal of stories abt maple.. lol... a person whom din really wanna buy cash items in the end spend some on it!~ lol.. well.. got myself afew cards, bought some cash items, like a princess crown, an event dress, a pet, pet's magnet and money pouch.. and charms!~ lol..

In maple, I have 2 cyber steads, one dear and one honey!~ haha.. well it was my bad i supposed.. but also not really :p Had a honey from Malaysia and he is studying in Russia - Medical Studies.. :p well, had a great fun in Maple with him!~ However, he stopped playing a while as he mentioned tt he need to concentrate on his studies and therefore will seldom log in.. Wat a sad thing virtually I suppose as I have a buddy less to play with.. Then as time goes by, came Gem's frien Kevin.. lol.. this was indeed a joke i supposed.. Kevin supposingly had an online dear, which is my bell jie.. haha.. but for some reasons, they keep quarrelling.. and yet up he was sold to me for 3m.. but after tt bell jie gave him up to me.. lol..

Got my char married in maple.. haha.. well I know it sounds lame to write such things in blog, but i think I am not wrong to keep virtual memories as and when I like... Ya some ppl may not believe in cyber r/s.. I do not believe as well... but doesn't mean I cant have rite? As long as I feel that I can differeniate between real and virtual, it's fine..

Well, initially I was a little afraid tt my dear would be unhappy tt I got married in maple.. with another person not him.. not say unhappy.. ya virtual.. but then i also dunno how to describe.. but I did td him initially and he was fine with it.. and still talk with me sometimes in maple and MSN as well...

Well, most of my buddy in Maple are quite friendly, outgoing and also care to help.. tot things seems to be online.. but then they are really fun people..

However, when it comes to lvl.. haha indeed i am damn slow.. most of my friends are already 100.. while i am only at 85.. omg... how!!! so stress lol.. well i do not have 2x exp..it is nice tt i can train so far~ lol.. wanna try lvl fast so when Zakum comes out can go try try b4 i really quit maple ba~! I also not sure if I wanna quit.. I wan to play GB, but my screen juz dun show the people, direction etc and I juz cant play.. haiz.. how sad man!~

Anyway, I juz got myself a new mama too.. lol.. so nice.. mama is gem's and kevin's colleague.. so nice.. haha.. always help me with some stuffs..

Friends
Hmmm.. really had quite a number of great friens.. lolx.. thanx for helping me full thru this hard time..I know some of you have been back stabbing me.. some of u have been like a 2 head snakes.. or maybe have seen what has happened but juz pretend tt u all know nth.. Well, it really doesnt matter to me.. becoz, at now.. I finally found out who really are my friends..

Luke, thanx for the companion recently.. I have enjoyed myself lately, be it in MU or Paradigm... well, though it is not as great as time i am in DBL O, i do appreciate this. Thanks!~ I understand sometimes there are financial issues therefore, u cant come to places where i suggest.. so its not much of an issue coz i still enjoy myself when i go chiong with u :P
Well seriously, I enjoy myself in dbl o, not becoz of the drinks.. but bascially i found nice friends with me!~ I'm so happy..

Juz went dbl o continuously for 2 weeks with some maple friens.. quite fun loving ppl.. haha.. really haven been enjoyin so much already.. Well.. if it is possible, obviously i would like to go dw dbl o again.. but horz... at the rate i am spending.. I am going to be financially unstable.. lol...

Well, I have also started going to LK outing again.. to Rubber's dinner, to the bowling in Hougang.. Been out with Gem and kevin recently too lolx..
Well, I love the way it is rite now actually, I dun wish to spoil the friendship between anyone.. I dun wan to decide on anything.. I hope i can juz leave this as the way it is rite now.. as I am very happy.. Sorry if this is not so nice but then i believe it is still the best after all..

Last sat, when to watch Xmen with bell jie and her Buddy List ppl... so qiao tt one of them was my DDR frien Jeff.. lol.. din really know her friends.. but juz went to watch the movie.. then after tt went DBL O with bell jie again this time for the 2nd time.. last sat also this sat also..lol... this time, Gem and Kevin came along too.. Grace, my new cyber mama
came along too.. well really had a great time.. It has really been a long time since I send friens home after they are drunk.. Bell jie's frien got drunk... and I am like o.O.. welll got to send him home coz he got up the cab.. omg!~ After tt, Nicholas papa came dw fetch me back.. so nice of him lorz.. haaha.. well tt's y i say.. if these a frien can do, why cant a boyfrien do? Juz a little side track coz such things come across..

Few weeks back, when I was out with Luke to paradigm, i drank some also.. well, td my cyber stead to come pick me up though i am still okie like every time.. and he really did came dw all the way to fetch me home!~ then still can play Maple for me~! My shifu Gabby, also play my char once a while for me!~ Well, Is there really not enuff time? I really dunno... How bz everyone is.. they have time for me!~ Haha.. well maybe juz a little ba.. ok let's not side track le...

Back to Friends... nth much to say le.. been spending and enjoying so much lately.. i really have to cut dw my expenses.. haha not working but I have been enjoyin.. How spendthrift I am!~ haha...

Ytd, I went to eat Sakae Sushi with Gem and Kevin.. haha..so nice.. at Bukit Batok~! so long nv travel far far eat!~ So shiok.. lol.. then eat already, we went kevin house see see look look.. haha.. then after tt online in maple.. gem play my a/c and found Glove for attack!!! haha... Today, kevin found 2 ester shield.. so heng.. dunno how he found also.. hahaha.. dun bother la.. anyway i got good enuff.. dun bother so much lol....

Okie la.. guess this month shall be it! Will continue again when there are stories! :)

17th May 2006

Having a bad headache now!~ Was only hopin things get better and not end up like so bad.. Everything juz seems bad.. So pissed lorz.. Ppl in maple attitude real life friens also attitude... I am really get real pissed..

It dun mean i dun say means i dun mean or feel anything... If u all know me u all should know I keep most thing to myself and let it off here.. becoz I do nt want to start a fight nor do i wan to make things worse... :( haiz.. Y is it tt no one understands this.. Maybe i should juz keep my mouth shut like a mute and no one will say or do anythin..

I really dunno wat i can say or do lorz.. life is really hard this few mths.. i am juz trying to adapt to things.. but y arent anyone giving me a chance? why do u all have to treat me like this.. It might be my wrong to have neglect all for the past few mths.. but let me ask u all... how many r really like this when they r in a r/s... when u all r in.. and when u all encounter problem.. i am always there for u all.. but juz when i need to cool dw.. why are u all turning ur back at me.. everyone tells me always spare a tot for urself than others 1st... but i choose otherwise.. becoz i know in long terms u all will understand y i did so.. but if really u all do nt understand.. i really dunno wat i can say or do anymore.. Life is getting hopeless and I think life is also getting lifeless soon...

haiz.... Can it juz be nice?

7 May 2006

So blur now~! Hmm.. seems like one mth at least I will chiong once or more of coz.. life has juz changed back to past? or should i say i have juz changed lifestyle again?

Have been feeling unwell recently.. coughing badly lately like nobody's business.. my family also nv notice so too!~ really no one bothers.. haha.. dunno la.. maybe dun really wanna say so much now.. ppl see ppl know.. ppl dun see they dunno..

Have been going to MU lately.... drinking... playing.. trying to enjoy myself.. but did i really? i really cannot convince myself too.. 6 mths already? 1/2 a yr? is tt so? in my memory, it cant keep track of dates or things.. still the same words.. mentally and phsically, things are already a fact, but emotionally, it is still the past..

The higher hopes i pin, the more disappointment i get..i suppose this sentence is not wrong.. Drinking i know is nt the solution to all problems.. but at least i enjoy and forget the pain in me for the weekends.. weekends are hard to survive.. weekdays are still alrite. but when it comes to weekend.. haiz.. i also dunno la... tot it was like over.. but after so many things, i become softhearted again... WTH is going on.. :(

Drink too much say too much.. but at least i believe drinking is nt wrong.. and now things are like tt.. juz let it all be.. coz i believe.. it's always better nv to pin hopes... coz i know things will not happen...

Well.. recently so much bad things happened.. i know for the nx 1 week, nth good will happen to..my online dear.. also say.. not going to come in for quite a while.. will only log on once a while.. my brother scold me for being slow today... coz he last min say family going out for dinner when i have meet my friens.. sad lorz.. so many things man.. this whole week haven been rite for me.. my mum keeps my laptop everynite not wanted me to play maple all nite long.. so i need to use my old laptop which i manage to fix to log in.. nt juz all this la.. there are really alot of sad and bad things tt happened recently.. i really dunno wat to say la.. but then it is really a bad week.. perhaps i should nt do much.. and pin any hopes.. juz dun care everything i think it is the best.. Everything is easy said then done.. y ppl juz cannot action and always juz say only... SAY DUN MEAN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!! This is for sure..i also dunno la... so blur.. so gong now.. maybe i believe i dun find the rite thing again.. nx week i still will be drinking and more blur.. lol... but no one bothers if i really drunk or nt... i still will have to go home and slp and be myself... dunno la.. tired.. play maple awhile juz now then ask my shifu.. to continue play while i going to write this and resting... too blur le... will continue again... nn all!~

24 April 2006

Monday Morning and i am still online!~ :p juz stopped playing maple and I am writting this..Haven had enuff slp 2day and i have a headache now.. Well went to pray my grandfather at the temple.. I am glad tt he was happy tt we went to see him.

Well.. firstly, de wang if u r seeing this blog.. let me tell u this..well generally, physically and mentally i have accepted the fact tt we have already broke up.. and I have leave with this fact since then.. However, emotionally, it still cannot be recovered no matter what can be done to it.. not juz emotionally disappointed in the breakup by also disappointed abt the results of the breakup.. after all this while, I really learned a great deal..perhaps u haven gone thru wat i have or done what i have so u wont understand this feeling and even till now, u still dunno where the problem lies..but its nt important.. u choose ur path and i dun wan to interfer it anymore...

Whether or nt they wan to continue to call or nt, i dun mind.. i juz treat tt as a greeting and nth much.. although i really do hope tt u learned the fact of wat i have done and exp.. perhaps i wont be feeling wat i am now..

I tend to understand tt there's no pt sacrificing so much for a person, this is for sure.. unless the person sacrifices for u.. then u make equal sacrifices.. although ppl always say tt if u love a person, u dun mind sacrificing everything for the one u love.. yes.. well, though we did nt end up well, i do nt regret but juz disappointed, at least i tried.. in future perhaps i will learn juz to do wat the opposite does..

in love, it is really difficult to say who is rite or wrong.. but if u din try u will nv know.. u urself have a conclusion of wat this is and also the reason y u did nt want to patch with me.. i am utterly disappointed in knowing the fact why u din wanna patch back.. but at least i done my part... i understand wat all this is already..

let bygones be bygones.. but meanwhile i really feel tt I will not talk to u as much as recently.. i also believe u today ur sch reopens and u will say tt u have alot of things to do.. so i think this is where we can stop for the time being.. well juz to let u know.. i wan to have my batt cover back..i will return ur vcds.. but i do not wish to meet u.. i am sry.. i will try return u asap... and take care in ur life.. I would want to have nth to do with u in future le i guess.. Thank you for hearing me out.

Well, i know some of u always say tt my weakness is always too concern abt how other ppl feel.. and end up making myself so miserable.. juz like there's nth to worry abt... but i keep making myself worry.. this has been a great wrong in the past and i think i will learn to change tt... nt to treat ppl nice as no one will return u the favour..

Still lookin for a job.. really hope i can get a job soon and start fresh
instead of staying at home play maple.. see somethings tt reminds me of some unhappy memories... sometimes it's always easy said then done.. u want to do it but the fact tt it is real hard..

Recently life is juz like tt.. i have to really start talking to all my friens.. if nt i will really end up losing all my friens.. In this r/s, i totally gave up my whole group of AJ frien.. I stopped contacting them completely for the past 4 mths or so and I realized it is really a great mistake..well at least they still talk to me nowadays making me feel relief.. all my other friens.. i have somehow start talking to those i missed out this 4 mths.. hmm.. well recently, happened to start talking to qx again.. hmm.. well.. feel contented coz at least we were still friends and he finally will talk abt all this while..

nt say talk la.. it is juz tt he say he talk to me but i ignore.. etc.. something like tt.. and when i talk to him he dunno.. and end up making a mistake ourselves.. haha..

I went bugis last sat.. well, actually I ban myself from going.. but i thought it once again, i dun have to do such sacrifices becoz i am juz hurting myself.. saw tt "ger" tt day.. everyone's hot fav... and weicheng keep saying he is ah di's one.. lolz.. so funny man.. he say this person is here to look for ah di one.. he is ah di's frien or lover or watever... whenever he is here, ah di is nt ard.. weicheng say no one believes so.. but when he is here.. ah di is really missing haha.. so funny man..

Hmm.. this yr, this time.. on May 6 2006, I muz vote!~ wah 1st time in my life i need to vote.. haiz..so troublesome.. y am i in such a troublesome situation.. since young i dun have the intention to vote becoz i feel tt how many wat also government will win one la.. politics is always dark... no wonder what... government sure rules.. well most politicians come from Havard University.. well... even our singapore government.. most also from there.. since young I nv really like talking abt politics.. coz its like a fixed principle or formula that is hard to change.. True enuff we have opposition team and they are the one who actually proposed human rites.. but then government sure overlook it and do their own stuffs.. and yrs later they will implement it and say tt it is their idea.. tt's y I never like all this stuffs.. Juz like america and china issue... during 911 incident, US proclaimed tt Osama is the terriorist and blacklist so many muslim countries.. and say how gd they are as they are like the big brothers!~ Head of the universe i supposed.. well.. but on the other hand, when they accidentally bomb china one time.. they say it was really an accident and no one dare to say anything.. tt's y i say politics are dark... so wat if we know the truth.. it will still be hidden in the dark.. well after saying so much i believe alot ppl will think tt i will vote for opposition team rite.. haha actually i also dunno.. my mum says tt she dun really like this opposition team in our region.. so she herself also dunno.. well.. i myself also cant make up my mind.. maybe i can go other countries on tt day to avoid the voting ah.. haha... no la.. i also dunno.. headache man..

Well, juz i will stop here for now.. my headache is getting a little bad.. will continue again soon!~ Thanks!~

19 April 2006

Wah so fast it's 19 already.. Well of coz i have finished my exam already and actually I should be hapy.. yeah partially I am but somehow still not...

Had been rather bored since I am not working.. for the past few weeks, it was still ok as I need to study for exam..so there is something to keep me occupied. However, since exams r over, i find myself so bored.. haiz... dunno y also..maybe all my friens r working and I have nth to do everyday so it makes me bored.. or maybe i am juz too lazy to find my friens out.. this i also dunno...

Recently, I have been training Maple.. I think other than maple there's nth much i can do.. I can't play GB.. i cant see the mobile..dunno why.. i wan to play GB sometimes.. but I cant see.. but its not my graphic card i supposed... well i also dunno sianz..

In maple.. I always see his nick.. but also no idea who is who.. I nv really bother to ask unless he msg me.. tt day he msg me.. but it was his buyer.. I passed him the weapon.. but still nt sure who he is.. then he ask me to buy him a super megaphone which i o.O" haiz.. do i owe him anything.. y muz I do all these things man.. :( get him one le.. still ask for nother one.. well i also dunno la.. he keep calling me da sao... and I dunno wat to say.. juz like Eric.. his other frien.. keep calling me shimu.. haiz.. feel so sad being called the title when actually i am not.. well.. perhaps all these all fated.. i have to do all these things.. maybe i did owe him.. tt's y i need to return and its like for granted and haiz.. i dunno wat to say... go out also feel so neglected.. dun go out also so much problems to think.. sometimes i really wonder why I am here...

Well was juz happening to talk with a Taiwan colleague just now over msn.. His name is Caleb.. haha.. nice chap and friendly.. for the past few occassion when I needed help, i am glad tt he offered his help and did not exposed me.. as I am not allowed to chat via msn or direct email, but then haha.. we used tt to communicate abt work and he helped me alot too. There is still 2 other ppl who are always ard.. tt's andrew and edward.. well, haha.. seems to be in better talking terms with Caleb i supposed but i dunno y.. sometimes when he called over, he will tell look for me instead of my colleagues.. haha.. well, whenever these MS Taiwan colleagues call, my colleagues will always suan me... “你的男人打来了”... I will be like.. goodness.. it's not my “男人”.. haha.. well coz they always look for me.. so my colleagues always suan me.. so when MS HK call, i will tell them.. ur qing ren call lorz.. then ask me do stupid things.. haha..

well, indeed i have a jovious group here at times.. when it comes to fun... but well, after all tt have happened, i realized tt they were not really against me.. and also I found tt they somehow think i was really neutral in all sides.. but well.. as for my other colleague... now i know after all these while.. she is the one.. nt me.. well.. bad things dun say so much.. nt gd.. :p

Juz now i was watching tv, at abt 1130pm, there was this show on chn 56.. i have been watching for 2 days already.. so funny.. but then i never expect it to be a true story.. I think today is the last episode.. so at the end, they wrote "Adapted from a true story" I was like o.O"

When i saw the drama series, the story is something like this... there is this guy.. he seems to be a nerd in this show. He is in a chat forum and his nick is Train Man.. I believe although he is a nerd in the show, i think somehow i the chat forum, he makes friens with everyone and i think he encouraged everyone in the forum to do things and everyone somehow looks up to him. Then i think he stopped chatting in the forum due to some reasons.. i am nt sure coz i din watched the whole show.. i think coz the ger he likes go somewhere else.. then one day, in a webcam, there is an actress going on an interview and td everyone how this Train Man urge her to go study if nt she would nt be going too... So she last said.. it's time for him to confess his love to the ger call Hermes.. Then the thing is tt.. the whole of Japan is filled with the poster asking Train Man to go back to forum.. The bus.. the cab.. the train.. the sky.. etc.. a little ridiculous lorz haha.. so he finally decided to go back..

He went back to forum and found tt everyone ask him to confess his love to the ger he loves.. he was like a nerd.. and so timid.. he dun dare.. but after so much support from all his web friends.. so he made up his mind to confess.. he called the ger he loves.. i think this ger juz came back from somewhere.. then later he called he leave voice mail sayin.. "Pls read the forum.. there r too many things to say and I cant say it all here.. so pls see the forum... I have important things...." Then the voice mail ended.. the ger hesitated and finally the nx day decided to hear the voice mail.. so she went to the chat forum and say she will meet him at their secret place.. and so they did meet...

And this Train Man came back and td them the story of wat happened.. The show is so funny.. the things is so funny lorz.. but i cant write all out here.. if nt i can be a script writer le lol.. Train Man was so short and Hermes is so tall.. and it seems like a big sister going out with a small boy.. Hermes is a gentle lady, and soft also.. then Train Man took his courage to confess his love for her.. but then.. haha.. in the end.. is the ger who ask the guy.. do u want to be with me? lolx...-.-" Then of coz Train Man answer yes... so after tt that.. Hermes kiss him... She say tt she also love him veri veri long time ago just like him.. so they went to a garden sit dw.. and talk alot.. he say tt the chat was like endless.. then Train Man's contact lens drop.. he td out the other one.. he td the ger he cant see.. but actually he can see.. so Hermes td him.. now is your term to kiss me.. haha.. then Train Man kissed her on her face.. Then she td him.. "I dun think this is the rite place to kiss.. It should be here..(pointin to the lips)" Haha... so he kissed her.. then finally, they had the "adult kiss" ... haha.. so funny... then all the chat forum ppl all gave so funny expressions and comments.. haha.. see le can laugh..

This ger really so daring.. if given me.. I also wont do tt.. well.. perhaps.. this is wat guys love gers abt.. and this I guess i can nv do it.. tt's y my r/s nv turn out well i suppose.. but i nv really expect this story to be so true... if u really see the show.. coz its like too drama... well.. but the fact tt it is a true story...

12 April 2006

Today 12th April 2006 is my 1st paper, EC-Interworking!~ At present moment, there is alot of things left unfinished... haiz..can't really study.. perhaps too tired..

Slept at almost 8+am this morning and got up at 3pm to continue the last bit of my studies.. However, the moment I got up and study.. I felt unwell!~ :( don't tell me this is a bad sign.. Hopefully not!~

Stressed and a little worried for my paper of coz.. this is the last 2nd paper and I do hope I can pass and move out of the academic world..

Having a bad stomach cramp and a headache at this point of time seems rather bad :( Furthermore, thinking for the distance I have to travel to sch and back home.. haiz.. makes me feel even worse.. I thought of asking my mum to fetch me to school.. but she say she has something on!~ How coincident.. haiz.. makes me feel more sad... aarrgghhh~!

How i wish all this things come one week later... I would feel so tensed up now~! I really do hope I will feel better after eating and taking a shower.. so that i can be fresh for the exam!~ *Wish myself luck*

11 April 2006

Now is Tues morning~! One day before my exam~! I juz couldnt really bring myself to study~! Haiz..

Look ard my rm and starting thinking of alot of things.. I juz realized my fav clock - beauty and the beast is not in the room!~ No idea where it went~! Looking at all the puzzles or pictures on my bedroom walls.. Indeed it's all fairy tales.. Perhaps I am really living in a fairy tale story..I should not be thinking abt fairy tale endings.. In the real world, I will not have a fairy tale ending story..

There is one puzzle.. is a collection of alot of disey story, such as Mickey Mouse, beauty and the beast, cinderella and many other disney stories in the puzzle.. This is not done by me.. well it is indeed a wondering gift I had received from one of my ex Kelvin.. who is currently a father of a daughter who is also named Isabelle... haiz.. I really dun understand y such things could happened..

Spoken to his wife the other time.. she td me tt it's becoz she like the name Belle, but kelvin's parent's find it a little funny.. she herself din like crystalbelle.. and alot more.. so she say she name the daughter Isabelle.. so I was like... eerrrmmm.... no comments.. I have always been wanting to give kelvin's parents a call to send my regards.. however.. I juz dun have the courage to do so.. I wont say courage.. but rather.. dunno how to too.. well as this r/s was also over.. there's nth much to bring back abt.. though I wanted to ask for a patch a while later.. but was so surprised to know he has a new gf in less than 2 week... tt's y sometimes i really dunno how to believe guy's word whether they r true or not.. coz one moment they can say he loves u.. on the other moment he has someone else.. I realized in most r/s i am in.. It is nv good in asking for a patch after u have broken up.. Zouky was the 1st time I wanted a patch but I was td by Shaun tt he did nt want.. For William.. I do nt have a chance at all, as tt girl already has his child.. I do not wan to be a family spoiler and never will i be... As for kelvin, like i mentioned.. was tt he has another gf already so i dropped the idea. For Darran, also, I did asked for a patch which I do not know y!~ After all tt I have changed for him, he told me no still.. and some other factors too.. facing so many times failure in patching after a while tt we break up.. was never a successful one.. therefore for this once.. I will never one to try it again.. becoz I know tt even if I were to ask for a patch.. he will nt want to.. and I am not confident to be in a r/s again.

I looked into my written diary and the gifts of my previous r/s, there were so much filled with memories and tears too.. I see this precious moment figure.. a couple on a boat.. was my birthday gift by Zouky on my bday!~ I used to like Precious Moments stuffs very much.. it's not tt I dun like.. it's juz tt it's too exp and it is hard to have collection of everything.. indeed i really felt so contented at that pt of time when he gave me.. though the birthday card he really dinno wat to write.. but I find it sweet enuff..

Next, I have a beauty and the beast crystal ball like from William on my birthday too.. Though he isn't as romantic as others.. I still keep it.. coz its a token of love from him!~ Remembering the time I have with him.. it was happy.. until the end.. he then knew tt I was being lied all the while.. haiz.. At the same time.. I remember how I broadcast this story across touch 512.. and actually sometimes I do miss broadcasting.. though now I cant do le.. coz sometimes bz.. and also with the problem I had with YR b4 etc..

My Guess Watch.. bought by QX on christmas tt yr was really a shocking one.. I love this watch very much as it is my favourite design and I am really surprise tt he gets it for me.. I never expect tt he would buy as it was I though exp and he wasnt working.. but then he bought it.. so I knew in return I muz get something he like.. so I bought him the pink pure milk 1979 t-shirt which he like and also CK perfume!~ Well.. was glad he likes it.. if nt i really feel rather bad..

Looking at all this stuffs.. really aches alot.. I try to smile at all happy memories.. there were some flowers still on my table.. Though it has withered.. I keep them.. coz is he give one.. he is actually the 2nd person who gave me flowers but actually gave me 3 times le... but looking at the flowers really do hurt and will remind me of the things I have been thru and exp wit him.. there were times where I wish to throw them away so I could forget but I juz dun bear.. even the pillow, the stars, moon earrings.. everything he gave me.. I juz feel like throwin them all away so I dun have to remember a thing when I see them.. but then.. haiz.. I guess the only thing I can do is to keep them in a small corner of a cupboard so I wont look into them.. and when like now.. I take out everythin, I will recall the past again.. or if nt.. the other alternative is to throw them all away.. which I really dunno..

Lookin at the stars and the words written in it which I have made for him also hurts me so badly.. i should have given it to him when I last saw him.. but I never becoz I was dishearted of the things tt have happened.. :( somemore seeing him give me stars instead I did not wan to give him anymore.. coz I feel tt he might say tt I am doing wat he is doing.. so I kept it.. Looking at the words inside.. really I dunno wat to say.. am I silly to have done such a thing.. I was actually intending to ask Dylan to pass to him with the Kenshin CDs he lend me on my last day of school.. But Dylan td me tt he is alreay heading to town so I couldnt pass him.. so no choice I td him nx time.. After all this while... I took the stars out and was wondering to give or nt... If I give.. wat would he think.. maybe nt something nice? I also dunno.. but if I dun give.. I keep myself.. the more it reminds me for these silly things.. haiz.. give dun give also so hard to decide.. :( this is so bad..

I can feel tt he has already gotten over everything.. talk to him a few times lately... with the speech he is giving or the way he reply.. seems so..or maybe after all in nature, he is juz like tt... so giving it to him or nt doesn't mean anything to him.. perhaps I should juz throw them away ba~! Becoz after all the bad r/s I have b4.. I feel tt it will not have anythin good either..

Having a bad headache recently.. I dunno y!~ No matter how much panadol I eat sometimes, it dun help.. haiz... I also dunno la... sometimes I juz feel life is really bad.. how come life cant be juz like in fairy tale story or in a drama series with happy ending.. There is so much to thing.. no wonder my headaches never subside.. lol..

Dunno la.. sometime I was think wat Weicheng says.. nth to worry u always give urself so many things to worry.. sometimes I really think its true tt I worry too much already.. but i juz cant help stop worryin for things I care!~ haha.. I also dunno why am i like tt worz.. maybe this is juz me lorz..

alrite... going back to study a while more b4 my headache worsen then I cant study at all... Hope I can remember everything I studied in my brain and not remembering things I dun wish to remember~! :p

9 April 2006

Though I juz updated my blog a few days ago.. I have nth to do.. tt's Y i come in to write again.

I'm bored now.. anyone wanna talk? lolx.. seems lame asking here but I am juz releasing my boreness.. lolx..

I have sent emails to my lecturers... hmm.. one lecture reply as quickly as he sees the email while the other... lol. as usual.. perhaps have to wait till mon or tues..

Well, ytd Nicholas ask me go double o.. actually feel like going... but its exam period so I try to avoid chionging... Instead I went to catch a show with Weicheng at Cine.. Well everytime he has to let me decide on everythin..lolx.. maybe to him gers juz have the priority in choosing watever they wan.. lolx.. movie is like tt.. eat also like tt.. so we went to suki ramen to have supper I supposed.. lol.. In the end, we went to watch Eight Below... Initially I wanted to watch Reincarnation but it was sold out and Wei Cheng din like this type of show. Well if anyone of u wan to watch pls tell me.. coz I know wilson also dun quite like horror.. so I believe tt might be a miss on his side.. so if anyone would like to watch, kindly call me along pls.. coz i dun wan to miss this show.. heard its a horror japanese show.. haha..

After the show, we went home.. after he sent me home.. it was raining heavily.. haiz.. felt so bad he had to run to bus stop in the rain.. I was quite worried as I believe anyone in this situation, I would also worry... However, he keep assuring he's fine etc.. so I juz accept the fact tt he was then...

Recently, still cant adapt to present life style.. as there were such changes.. went to play kof on sat too.. haha.. as usual.. I anyhow play again... guess I am only good if i play with my own friens coz i know how they fight.. well, got someone to help me while I was challenged.. but always i dunno his name.. quite young too.. i think he is n lvl or o lvl... cant remember only remember he stayed at Bukit Merah as we went back once together b4 at Bugis.. It has been such a long time since i asked him to help me.. well think it has been like abt 5 mths or so...

not juz games.. i think movies too.. the ppl whom i go watched movies with.. have different opinion.. and also different habits.. so sometimes have to think a bit b4 decided on things to do and also everything...

Go out too... I missed the days when I was outgoing.. playful.. many many more.. now recently.. though I try to be cheerful in where I go and who I meet, there is always a scar deep in heart where it can't be recovered. The pain is on and off.. even when I am feeling fine, the pain still comes in.. but it always worsen when I am sad.. Juz even when I watch a sad love story.. or basically any sad stories, the pain juz comes back like before.. perhaps I have a weak heart or maybe I am just emotionally weak, tt's y I always have this pain when I feels upset. Ever since Darran's incident, I felt tt the condition has worsen and I dun feel quite good abt it too.. not juz sad.. but I do worry some thing bad is happening. You all may feel tt I think too much, but sometimes this type of feelings are always present in most ppl's heart.

My family has a record for bad heart.. My dad has a significant one like wat he is going thru now.. though he is mainly due to smoking, i believe there r many other factors tt cause heart failure in our family background.. well. not hoping for the worse.. I hope tt I will be fine and I wish to enjoy for the rest of my remaining life.. as I do not know how much time I have left with too... I dun wish to go thru all this pain anymore.. nor do I wan to experience anymore hurt from anyone.. Basically, I cannot accept anymore words that can help me badly or anything thing tt is done to hurt me badly...

Well, enough of these feeling type of thing.. Got to go study a little more.. remember ask me out to watch Reincarnation!~ :p Best is on Fri!~ As it is a Good Fri and also the 1st day after my exams.... And I do hope it is a good start of a Fri!~

7 April 2006

First week of April is about to pass. I am having my exams nx week. However, it's indeed hard to study~! Cant find the right mood to study~! How sad!~ I juz need this once.. this once to study and after tt, I am free from all these studies things already!~

Well again, my only motivation to study is my assignment results.. Juz got back the assignment grade recently and found tt I am 2nd in class.. How sad.. well I am always fighting assignments with top few ppl..Well actually I only lose him one mark..lolz.. but overall percentage I got the same with him!~ awww... this guy also muz be a good assignment person... if nt how could he score so well like me.. lol...
But I only got back for one module not the other.. was hoping to get back for the other too so I can study better... Well.. maybe i will email my lecturer later so I might be able to get them the nx few days... well my friends say he always take very long or dun have the habit to reply email.. haha.. well.. I email him once b4.. he took abt 2 days to reply and well lolx... he did help me on my issue if nt i wont be able to submit myh assignments already lolx....

Well, no dates lately, have been trying to locate fun and laughter myself.. somemore no where to go.. Lately, I always go MU with Luke.. if I do not catch a show with Vincent and Wilson... Last Sat, went to catch Inside Man with Vincent and Gem.. well they do not know each other but yet stil can come out.. Actually I do like this type of friens.. coz most of my guy friens.. do not like to go out with other guys friends of mine.. well I do understand the feeling.. but well.. maybe I wll juz see as and when I am find this type of friends then.. The show was nt bad.. A police and thief show.. well..the theif was nt catch inthe end of coz.. there is a story behind it.. go watch if u wanna know.. but there is some part where the story is a little dull.. but after all nt bad.. quite funny.. After the show, I went to MU find Luke..lolx.. seems like routine eh? No la.. haven found the rite thing to do.. or no particular person who ask me out and is someone whom I will go out with.. coz I know some of u ask me out.. but then coz I know I will be alone.. so I rather nt go.. cant describe the feelin to u all.. but believe u will understand if u put urself in my shoes..

Wel on Mon, Vin, Gem and me went to eat Billy Bombers then KTV.. lol.. well Gem and I keep sprouting Maple Story until Vin was so bored.. but well we keep asking Vin to play.. was waiting for him to come in. lol.. So in the end, we have to talk Naruto.. so that three of us can talk.. lol..Well the 2 guys also talk about other games.. which I dun play.. I guess that is the only common topic for guys ba..

Well, I'll be having my papers on the 12 and 13 April.. I hope I can be able to study as much by then and not keep playing maple where actually I am not levelling... lol... Well I muz endure one more week then I can play Maple le.. but then sad to sad.. The weapons in the game is so ex.. Chiong high lvl also no use.. weapon so lousy...haiz... hopefully I find more items like tobi steely to sell then can buy one... :(

Well guess today is for now.. will continue again when I feel like it~! :p

April's FooL Day

It's seems like really an April's FooL day to me.. Was td to watch the show.. last min it was cancelled.. and alot of funny things lorz.. dunno lehz...

I've tot thru this few days.. Writting Blogs r 4 urself and nt anyone else... a blog is an online diary where u write ur diary.. if u r afraid of writting ur diary, why have a blog. I feel nth wrong writting my personally feelings in the blog as it is wat it is suppose to be.. Even I would to write a personal hand written diary, I would also do the same. No doubt abt it as I used to keep it but becoz of certain happenings, i gave up writting on book. I dun care who wans to read and who wans to comment.. I juz want to write out wat I feel.

Felt rather nt myself recently. Moreover, I seriously hate going out myself but this few times, I juz went out myself.. wondering places.. looking at ppl.. walking ard aimlessly.. still cant figure out the emotion.

Ytd nite, I went to catch a show with my mother.. amazing? and she compromise to watch wat I wanted to watch.. I guess England show is nv a kind of show for most ppl.. tt goes the same for him i suppose... so far only Vincent watches such show.. or is it.. he watches anythin.. Vincent.. got chance tell me..

On thurs, I went for an interview. The job scope which I heard was rather interesting. However, whether I got the chance or nt.. I dunno.. really do hope I can get the job.. as I need one too.. and seriously it is challenging.. and I hoped it can help me move on with my life. For this job, I keep thinking it was alot on FSM.. but not much.. juz n case u wonder wat is FSM, it is Fire Safety Manager. In this case, my role is nt juz a FSM, but also an accounting mgr like wat they td me. Hoping is all I can do now.. anyway now is more serious for my exam.. but i really dunno how to study after all this while.

That day, I after interview, i went ps walk walk then I met up with Alien for a show. Talked abit to catch up on wat's happening recently. Though now I have nt been rejecting to go out with any of my friends who ask me to.. but I realized the number of ppl calling me out is really decreasing and leaving myself always so bored at home.. haiz...

Maybe sometime I should take the initiative to ask ppl out.. but then... I still dun like to be rejected.. tt's y i understand how my friends feel when they ask me out and I tell them i have some thing on..

After all tt has happened... I know some of u asked but I din wanna say in the 1st place.. and I know actually I shouldn't be bringing this up anymore.. but since u all wish to know I will tell.. If you ppl have any comments.. u want to write its ur problem.. i cant be bothered with any comments.. becoz I did wat I felt I want to do.

Berlinda, remember wat u td me the other day when we were on the way home from school.. U td me tt I should be looking into further and nt remain here as he can't think tt far yet. I truly do understand everything.. I know what he has done for me and know wat he cant do for me and etc.. Actually I tot of giving up.. but u all should know why I did nt.. At one moment, I tot i could give up my everything juz for him.. but i realized when I was halfway thru, I was completely hit back hard and making me can't turn back anymore. I have tot to go with him to Australia to study maybe.. Or even where he goes, I will follow him.. company him by his side. Like he say he can't give up wat he has planned for, I dun blame him.. so I tot I could compromise by giving in. I gave up my job, my r/s juz for him.. I actually almost wanted to give up my studies juz for him as I really cannot think at tt point of time.

I tried my very best to do things in my own ways wanting him to get touched by wat I've done. After all, it was juz a waste effort. To him.. he feels tt I am writting all this in my blog to show ppl how bad he is.. but I did not.. In this blog, seriously I should be writting wat I feel, I feel tt there's really nth wrong.

After all my sacrifices, I somehow felt tt it is meaningless. I should nv learn to sacrifice. Everyone td me how he is thinking, wat he is thinking and everything.. actually I know them all.. but I do nt listen to u friends I am sry.. becoz I do love him at tt pt of time, so I tot I coulddo something for the both of us though it did not work out well.. I know some of u keep saying why am I with a guy so young, who cant think for your future, imature, childish, and hot temper.. but all these, I felt tt it can be omitted if u r in a r/s, tt is why I do nt bring it too much in front of him.. some of u ppl...I know this rd I am gonna be the bad person... but which time ppl will think I am good anyway? so it dun matter. It is nt possible tt I satisfy everyone, so I also be the bad person to have sided him and bear with everything. I was really hurt when he once td me tt.. with your this time for char, who can actually tolerate this far.. if it is other ppl.. they would have already left by then.. But y dun he put himself in my shoes to think likewise.. a ger in the mid 20s, still going with a guy nt even 20... and with all the things his/my/ our friends said, I still bear with him to be with him. Does it really have to calculate everythin? To be true.. the sayings always go.. do nt force a ger to an extreme, she will calculate everything back with u.. Let me juz tell u this.. if u r seeing this.. if u feel tt I have calculate alot on this r/s, then let me tell u.. I've not and I can tell u.. if u really wanna calculate there is tons of things I can calculate it out with u.. but I dun wan to.. becoz I am not like every typical female who does tt.

I may be saying wat I feel, tt does not mean being calculative. I am not hurt tt he blames me for not being understandin, and say tt I keep saying him where there's a lot of things he cannot change. Yes indeed, he cant change his exam times, he cant change his attachment briefing time, he cant change the fact tt his father is in such a state...he cant change this and tt.. and he says tt I cant understand all this.. who say tt I cannot understand.. I also have work meetings, I also have exams.. and I also do have a sick father which I believe nt everyone of u all know.. becoz I nv really mention.. coz my family is nt a veri gd family which I should go exposing abt.. I have a father who has a heart problem juz like me.. this is wat we call genes.. he is stablize now so not too much of a worry. He thinks tt his friends sms/calls and them calling him out has lessen. Alot of things has happened coz he was with me.. well.. if he felt it this way, i also felt it this way.. he have exams.. i also have.. he have briefing, i also have work meetings.. and each time I have, I did not really tell him and even tried to push the meeting away.. In my teletech days, I have not attended much of the meetings ever since I was with him.. I know in a r/s.. all this things really would happened one lorz.. it is expected..

The reason why i still bring things up.. not becoz i wanna salvage the r/s or anyting.. I juz wan to let go this r/s and say out wat I have not said in the past so that I can complete let go and forget abt this r/s and move on with my life..

my heart for the r/s has die the day after his exams... that was once I felt humiliated.. becoz becoz he could say that sentence to me.. Not the 1st time tt he use such hurting words actually but... I also dunno wat to say.. esp with the time during new yr where he say if I do nt come dw, he will break with me... I really feel disappointed tt such words can come out from his mouth...

Actually at tt time, I am already quite dishearted with all tt have happen. That's why I start plannin wat i should do and wat i can do.. I already have the tot of giving up since then coz he himself said such a thing. So after each incident, it makes me want to make a move to end the r/s.. I always wan to be the bad man.. tt's y till now, I am still a bad man.. I td him tt I suspect tt he has a gf.. Somehow I din really suspect.. Becoz I dun feel secure.. I know this is where he cant be.. and everyone knows tt too.. though everyone juz ask me to bear.. but which ger can really feel gd in a r/s when she dun feel secure.. Juz becoz i tot of giving an end, I started doing things making him feel tt I am bad and he should bother or even feel bad in the r/s. I make everything seems to be that I am in the wrong.. and even to now.. I know tt he has yet to understand wat I have done for him. Maurice.. I know u know.. but I'm sry to get u involve.. u shouldn't have posted a comment rite from the being.. I appreciate that u really do understand me.. Thank you.. though he really wan a comment from u.. but seriously.. haiz.. does ur comments really matters at tt pt of time.. I know he juz wan to prove himself rite with his thinkings.. but seriously it is really childish to have said such a thing.. I was happy tt u din have the intention to comment back.. if nt I might think tt u may also be juz like him.. or i also dunno la...

Even till the day we break, I juz td him tt I have actually fallen for another guy.. tot its a fact tt I'll not do tt when I am in a r/s.. I juz din wan him to be sad.. or feel bad or anything.. so I put the blame on myself.. Though it was nt successfully, as he found out.. but everything he once knew, has overturned. At tt time he is aware of why it was so.. but on the very day when we had a big fight.. and tt's when I decide to stop writting blog.. it makes me realized.. he has juz twisted the fact again.. tt's y i did not wan to continue to talk to him anymore and even want to severe ties with him.. I have deleted him everywhere from all my contacts.. so tt it will not remind me of any sadness... But in maple.. haiz.. his buyer.. coz his buyer has bought over the a/c, he logs on and play.. and he tends to chat with me... and even keep asking things between me and him.. haiz.. seeing the nick.. sometimes I dun even know is who... and when i see the nick.. it juz still reminds me of him.. Sometimes I juz wan to tell him.. both of us arent together anymore.. so dun ask already... but haiz.. but who will know the consequence of saying.. wait he say this and tt why this and tt. or watever.. its so headache...

Though I have deleted him off in all my contact list, but then his numbers, nick watever, cant be erase in my memory.. i am seriously having hard time.. Sometimes i do hope he will msg me or wat.. but thinking back i think better nt as well.. coz i will end up fightin with him again.. Maybe I juz have to slowly erase him from my memory to move on.. Tt time, I did wanted to be friends back with him.. but it guessed it did a wrong thing and we end up in a big fight which I believe nth much can be done already.. Though there is somethin.. but it wont happened therefore nth much can be done.. there wont be miracles as well..

I know he arent happy tt I am writting all this.. coz its seems like a one sided story, but wat has lead to this one sided story? For me to know and for u ppl to find out... But I guess more or less u ppl should be able to know why this is so.. I know there are bound to be bad comments and I am prepare to see actually but I guess I should be able to tackle such problems...

27 March 2006

I thought a blog is an online diary that writes out what has happened to you. This is y I started to write a blog so that I could remember my life.

Today I found out tt even if some names were not mentioned, the person may felt offended in the text of the story. Therefore, I have remove part of my blog. I'm sorry that if some of the things I remove contains apologies or maybe abt a particular frien of mine with my advise or anythin, I'm sorry that I need to remove the whole post.

I am having a painful headache right now. Like wat my mum has said, I believe this is really a very bad year for me. I have given up my r/s, work... and to the extend almost studies.. I really dun wan to give up my studies after spending so much time in this stupid school.

Can all of u juz stop all the comments.. Maurice I dun wish to spoil the 20 yrs of r/s i have with u. Either do I want anyone to fight over this blog issue. So I have decided to give up. It has been all my fault all this while to believe wat i do believe though I do still believe.

Sorry for all the quarrels everyone have made in here. Berlinda, perhaps I might stop my blog awhile..sorry if i disappoint u. If I had heed ur advise long ago, perhaps things will not turn out this way.

After all tt has happened, I think it can only be like that.

25 March 2006

This is the last week of school as well as my work. Haven been really slpin for the past 2 nitez and tt's leaves mey i am slpin so early last nitez.

Well,Stephen, my old NP classmate td me tt in airport, they need a FSM. Well, haha.. i td him I would like to try as I have no job currently though it is far. He asked me to send my resume to his boss.. but well.. i am not sure i will be shortlisted or not.. becoz after all, I am still a ger. Tt's a problem with females in this field.. haiz.. Well, but Stephen says so far no one has got the job.. and I might be of a chance.. I will have to wait and see then. If nt i will start lookin for a job after my exams which is juz in 2 weeks+ time..

Busy with my school work, I guess this is how I moved on my life with. but today is sat.. no more sch work which means.. I am stuck in the middle again. But i am meeting my colleagues later at 12.. wow it has really been a long time since i last went to ktv.. We are going chinatown kbox.. haha.. remembering singing was one of my favourite pasttime in the past.. hmm but later we go.. i also dunno wat will i sing.. -.-"

Today Berlinda is celebrating her bdae.. Well..berlinda, i wish u a happy birthday... hee.. well... though i not sure where u will be celebrating.. so let me know later.. haha.. I will go~!

Currently no updates as it is juz a few days.. this few days might has a little emotion as it is a week that everythin ends, therefore i might has a little emotion here and there.. juz bear with me sometimes. :p

True enough, I am an emotionally unstable ger.. so dun play with my feelings.. I think some of u all know wat i mean.. well.. for those who r still ard.. thank u so much tt u treasure our friendship.. it has been a great pleasure being with u all. I will continue to work hard and move on as I believe I am really far behind u all~!

Goodness.. y am I listening to this song when I am writing this blog.. :(

谁还记得是谁先说，永远的爱我？以前的一句话是我们。。以后的伤口。
过了太久没人记得当初那些温柔。。我和你手牵手，说要一起走到最后。。

我们都忘了，这条路走了多久。。心中是清楚的，有一天，有一天都会停的。。让时间说真话，虽然我也害怕。。在天黑了以后，我们都不知道会不会有遗憾？？

谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我？？以前的一句是我们。。以后的伤口。。过了太久没人记得当初那些温柔。。。我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后。。。

我们都累了，却没办法往回走。。两颗心都迷惑。。。怎么说，怎么说都没有救。。。亲爱的为什么？？也许你也不懂，两个相爱的人等对方先说找分开的理由。。。。。。。。。

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候？？我和你的眼中看见了不同的天空。。走的太远终于走到分岔路的路口。。是不是你和我要有两个相反的梦？？

谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我？？以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口。。。。过了太久没人记得当初那些温柔。。我和你手牵手，说要一起走到最后。。我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后。。。。。。

22 March 2006

Today is the 1st day of freedom.. lol.. no la.. 1st day of my last day of my job.. and it juz seems so weird i supposed. Can't really used words to describe. Somehow I juz feel weird in some cases. How to say lehz...

Ok.. today I met up with my classmate at his place to do the assignment 2 of Internetworking. As I did not know how to get to his place, I took a cab.. I td the cab driver bedok north ave 4. The driver turned and ask how to go.. I was like huh? Then i looked at him.. to my astonishment, haha.. u know wat? he's a young chap.. i supposed he is new.. coz when my classmate ask me to tell him the blk 85 "Ba Chor Mee" the famous one in Bedok North.. most drivers should know, but he dinno.. But of coz, I was able to get to his place.

Meanwhile, today Ahbi sms me... Ahbi.. who is Ahbi.. haha.. he is my OM!! or rather previous OM. As his number wasn't in my list, I sms him back.. who r u? he td me.. ahbi.. I was like.. o.O so I asked him how can i help u with? he td me..wat & how can u help? then i was even more o.O so i td him.. well u may state i can see wat i can help with :p and he td me.. "you tell me 1st la.." i was even moe puzzled..i say i tot u gave me a miss call.. so i tot u needed something.. so it means nth? u r juz checking on me? haha... he back with i need but u cannot give.. i was like wth... so i asked him wat do u need.. haha.. sounds so hard...

finally he din reply.. he called me up.. then we talked.. he asked me where was i.. I td him i was on my way to my classmate's place.. and he was like hmmm... going to classmate's place 4? I was like.. haha dun think so much.. i am juz going over to do project and nth else.. so i asked him... where is the dinner and movie he owe me? he td me.. haha.. he scare my bf will beat him.. lol.. I td him.. well.. if tt's the case i think his gf will beat me up 1st lorz.. moreover ii do not have a bf.. how is it possible tt he will hit? then he say since now I have no job, have i consider to look for a part time bf? haha.. I was like... well, na.. not really.. i dun like part time bf as there is no commitment involve.. so I dun wan.. In the past, well i did think of part time bf.. but then it always come to a conclusion.. it's not wise and its a waste of time so i td him the reason str8. He sounds a little surprise and say if he is paying for everythin, am, i considering? I say might consider a little but not so much too.. as it is too part time.. and i really dun like r/s with no commitment.. it sounds real lame.. so i asked him.. y r u askin so much.. is it becoz he wans to be my part time? haha.. he was like.. well since i am jobless.. y dun i consider.. I was like.. haha.. wat a joke..

Well, at nite.. I had dinner with my colleagues.. Janet, Joey, Jessica, Jimmy.. lolz.. all the Js... had a fun dinner... discussing abt the work in teletech.. and also abt the two popstars haha.. Gina and Erica of coz.. it was then i came to know tt Ahbi is also leaving the company.. lol.. is our departure such a great impact tt Eric the STL and Ahbi the OM resign his post.. lolx.. We had quite much fun.. and also teasing the waiter.. Jimmy my Lau Pa.. suddenly tell the waiter tt i wan his number.. i was like huh? WtH... then Janet td the waiter.. actually is Jimmy who wans it.. coz he is shy.. tt's y he say another person.. then Jimmy td him My name is Shermie.. -.-" then Joey added her surname is "huang".. i was like.. wah u two really.. 一唱一和? 绝配!! 不愧是我的老爹和老娘。。。 lolz... well.. so I td the waiter.. haha... actually is Jimmy wanna know him.. his name is Jimmy.. surname is Lin.. and Joey added again.. his name is.. 志龙.. lol.. i was like laffing.. then the waiter added.. tonite he will go back with Jimmy.. we were like lol...

After tt.. me jessica and joey walked to mrt.. i took a cab in the end as i need to go my classmate's place again to do overnite the assignment.. will have a tiring nite later i guess.. now I am still at home.. writing this blog.. but wil be leaving home soon to go his place to continue the assignment... haiz.. hopeful we can finish.. seems so hard... haiz.. sad case.. well at least i have a wonder dinner.. I should be prepared for a tough nite...

Okie.. heading to his place soon... though its a little weird coming over.. but becoz of project.. i muz come.. lolx.. juz for the sake of assignment.. well.. last time when young.. it was alright.. i nv felt weird or wat.. maybe coz grow up le lolx... i also dunno.. only felt gd if it is going to bf's house.. so he can hug me to slp.. lolx.. but well.. i wont be slping anyway.. will try to finish my assignment of coz.. lolx.. if nt cant hand in on fri.. hehe...
signing off now.. anything sms me or comment here.. i will come to see again.. :p will hope to update soon....