24 April 2006

Monday Morning and i am still online!~ :p juz stopped playing maple and I am writting this..Haven had enuff slp 2day and i have a headache now.. Well went to pray my grandfather at the temple.. I am glad tt he was happy tt we went to see him.

Well.. firstly, de wang if u r seeing this blog.. let me tell u this..well generally, physically and mentally i have accepted the fact tt we have already broke up.. and I have leave with this fact since then.. However, emotionally, it still cannot be recovered no matter what can be done to it.. not juz emotionally disappointed in the breakup by also disappointed abt the results of the breakup.. after all this while, I really learned a great deal..perhaps u haven gone thru wat i have or done what i have so u wont understand this feeling and even till now, u still dunno where the problem lies..but its nt important.. u choose ur path and i dun wan to interfer it anymore...

Whether or nt they wan to continue to call or nt, i dun mind.. i juz treat tt as a greeting and nth much.. although i really do hope tt u learned the fact of wat i have done and exp.. perhaps i wont be feeling wat i am now..

I tend to understand tt there's no pt sacrificing so much for a person, this is for sure.. unless the person sacrifices for u.. then u make equal sacrifices.. although ppl always say tt if u love a person, u dun mind sacrificing everything for the one u love.. yes.. well, though we did nt end up well, i do nt regret but juz disappointed, at least i tried.. in future perhaps i will learn juz to do wat the opposite does..

in love, it is really difficult to say who is rite or wrong.. but if u din try u will nv know.. u urself have a conclusion of wat this is and also the reason y u did nt want to patch with me.. i am utterly disappointed in knowing the fact why u din wanna patch back.. but at least i done my part... i understand wat all this is already..

let bygones be bygones.. but meanwhile i really feel tt I will not talk to u as much as recently.. i also believe u today ur sch reopens and u will say tt u have alot of things to do.. so i think this is where we can stop for the time being.. well juz to let u know.. i wan to have my batt cover back..i will return ur vcds.. but i do not wish to meet u.. i am sry.. i will try return u asap... and take care in ur life.. I would want to have nth to do with u in future le i guess.. Thank you for hearing me out.

Well, i know some of u always say tt my weakness is always too concern abt how other ppl feel.. and end up making myself so miserable.. juz like there's nth to worry abt... but i keep making myself worry.. this has been a great wrong in the past and i think i will learn to change tt... nt to treat ppl nice as no one will return u the favour..

Still lookin for a job.. really hope i can get a job soon and start fresh
instead of staying at home play maple.. see somethings tt reminds me of some unhappy memories... sometimes it's always easy said then done.. u want to do it but the fact tt it is real hard..

Recently life is juz like tt.. i have to really start talking to all my friens.. if nt i will really end up losing all my friens.. In this r/s, i totally gave up my whole group of AJ frien.. I stopped contacting them completely for the past 4 mths or so and I realized it is really a great mistake..well at least they still talk to me nowadays making me feel relief.. all my other friens.. i have somehow start talking to those i missed out this 4 mths.. hmm.. well recently, happened to start talking to qx again.. hmm.. well.. feel contented coz at least we were still friends and he finally will talk abt all this while..

nt say talk la.. it is juz tt he say he talk to me but i ignore.. etc.. something like tt.. and when i talk to him he dunno.. and end up making a mistake ourselves.. haha..

I went bugis last sat.. well, actually I ban myself from going.. but i thought it once again, i dun have to do such sacrifices becoz i am juz hurting myself.. saw tt "ger" tt day.. everyone's hot fav... and weicheng keep saying he is ah di's one.. lolz.. so funny man.. he say this person is here to look for ah di one.. he is ah di's frien or lover or watever... whenever he is here, ah di is nt ard.. weicheng say no one believes so.. but when he is here.. ah di is really missing haha.. so funny man..

Hmm.. this yr, this time.. on May 6 2006, I muz vote!~ wah 1st time in my life i need to vote.. haiz..so troublesome.. y am i in such a troublesome situation.. since young i dun have the intention to vote becoz i feel tt how many wat also government will win one la.. politics is always dark... no wonder what... government sure rules.. well most politicians come from Havard University.. well... even our singapore government.. most also from there.. since young I nv really like talking abt politics.. coz its like a fixed principle or formula that is hard to change.. True enuff we have opposition team and they are the one who actually proposed human rites.. but then government sure overlook it and do their own stuffs.. and yrs later they will implement it and say tt it is their idea.. tt's y I never like all this stuffs.. Juz like america and china issue... during 911 incident, US proclaimed tt Osama is the terriorist and blacklist so many muslim countries.. and say how gd they are as they are like the big brothers!~ Head of the universe i supposed.. well.. but on the other hand, when they accidentally bomb china one time.. they say it was really an accident and no one dare to say anything.. tt's y i say politics are dark... so wat if we know the truth.. it will still be hidden in the dark.. well after saying so much i believe alot ppl will think tt i will vote for opposition team rite.. haha actually i also dunno.. my mum says tt she dun really like this opposition team in our region.. so she herself also dunno.. well.. i myself also cant make up my mind.. maybe i can go other countries on tt day to avoid the voting ah.. haha... no la.. i also dunno.. headache man..

Well, juz i will stop here for now.. my headache is getting a little bad.. will continue again soon!~ Thanks!~