7 May 2006

So blur now~! Hmm.. seems like one mth at least I will chiong once or more of coz.. life has juz changed back to past? or should i say i have juz changed lifestyle again?

Have been feeling unwell recently.. coughing badly lately like nobody's business.. my family also nv notice so too!~ really no one bothers.. haha.. dunno la.. maybe dun really wanna say so much now.. ppl see ppl know.. ppl dun see they dunno..

Have been going to MU lately.... drinking... playing.. trying to enjoy myself.. but did i really? i really cannot convince myself too.. 6 mths already? 1/2 a yr? is tt so? in my memory, it cant keep track of dates or things.. still the same words.. mentally and phsically, things are already a fact, but emotionally, it is still the past..

The higher hopes i pin, the more disappointment i get..i suppose this sentence is not wrong.. Drinking i know is nt the solution to all problems.. but at least i enjoy and forget the pain in me for the weekends.. weekends are hard to survive.. weekdays are still alrite. but when it comes to weekend.. haiz.. i also dunno la... tot it was like over.. but after so many things, i become softhearted again... WTH is going on.. :(

Drink too much say too much.. but at least i believe drinking is nt wrong.. and now things are like tt.. juz let it all be.. coz i believe.. it's always better nv to pin hopes... coz i know things will not happen...

Well.. recently so much bad things happened.. i know for the nx 1 week, nth good will happen to..my online dear.. also say.. not going to come in for quite a while.. will only log on once a while.. my brother scold me for being slow today... coz he last min say family going out for dinner when i have meet my friens.. sad lorz.. so many things man.. this whole week haven been rite for me.. my mum keeps my laptop everynite not wanted me to play maple all nite long.. so i need to use my old laptop which i manage to fix to log in.. nt juz all this la.. there are really alot of sad and bad things tt happened recently.. i really dunno wat to say la.. but then it is really a bad week.. perhaps i should nt do much.. and pin any hopes.. juz dun care everything i think it is the best.. Everything is easy said then done.. y ppl juz cannot action and always juz say only... SAY DUN MEAN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!! This is for sure..i also dunno la... so blur.. so gong now.. maybe i believe i dun find the rite thing again.. nx week i still will be drinking and more blur.. lol... but no one bothers if i really drunk or nt... i still will have to go home and slp and be myself... dunno la.. tired.. play maple awhile juz now then ask my shifu.. to continue play while i going to write this and resting... too blur le... will continue again... nn all!~