三八妇女节

Today is 三八妇女节, I tot I had already felt relax in all things I do. I din expect that I have such a tense feeling this early morning. I wonder what this sudden feeling is. When I left home, I felt a head pain.. It’s only like this if I have wet hair and rushing/running to bus stop. But I was already walking slowly, I wondered why do I feel so.

After all this while, I realized how cruel this world can be at times. Seeing all the things tt have happened and after all this stress I have faced, I also realized that actually your closed ones are always the furthest from you. When u need help, all they do is to discourage you from everything you do and even if they do help, they dun seems to help much either, the most its juz a word or 2. They do not praise you when you are doing gd nor do they acknowledge tt u r good. Maybe its becoz they wan u to be independent that is why they choose not to help? Or maybe they are juz too lazy or maybe they aren’t even considering u close to them? Is that the case? If this is the case, I believe after all these yrs, all my efforts have failed and no one seems to appreciate wat I have done. It’s rather hurting to see your close one promise you these and do nth much abt it making yourself feel helpless.

Sometimes I find that friends and acquaintances are much more helpful than your close one. At least they bothered to help, though its minimal, but then you will be surprise for what they have done.

I have a poly junior, Kelvin, whom I got to know him only months back, coz one of my lecturer passed away and I went to is funeral and saw him. At that time, we exchanged phone number of coz, though we hardly talk, but when tt time I asked him to find me a job, I was surprised by what he say as I wont believe tt there will be someone who will do tt for someone not close to them. He say he will look thru his newspaper cuttings and let me know. And even asked me wat type of job. He did the 1st approach, but subsequently, as I was supposed to add him in MSN, I did not, therefore he did not get back to me. But when I juz happened to send me a greeting msg, he replied me saying u not quitting anymore, still in the current job? I was like, wow he still remembers though it know its not too long back.. This is really wat an acquaintance can do.

Luke also told me if I need an IT job, I may try looking for his god sis as she might be of a little help. He is really indeed a frien indeed. Whenever I need help, if I look for him, he would always be there for me.. But of coz I would not always look for him unless I really need help. Thanks Luke!~ I do not know how much u treat me as a frien but then like u mention I am a long time good frien, but dunno how true.. but its okie..

There are more things that friends did for me then all my close one. Sometimes I also wonder, if my parents discourage me in all things I do, then y bring me to this earth then. In this lifetime, we should learn to enjoy all we can. Therefore if they dun encourage u, what is the point?

Work load hasn’t changed at all, and cares and concern I get from everyone has not increased and its all discouraging words or not supportive at all. I really hoped tt everyone will change their judgement or be nice to me. I am also a human with feelings. I am also like a child who needs to be coax at times of sadness. Please do not overlook it.