18 Jan 2006

Too much political issues and also too much conflicts!~ Can't I juz be left out in the whole scene?
How do they feel and wat do they take me for... I juz dun understand Y things have to be that different. Nevertheless.. I really dun wan to be involved in the problem...

My colleagues went to tell our OM abt operations and also our TL stuffs~ I also dunno wat to say about it!~ They say the reason y they din call me is coz they knew I was neutral abt things so hey din call me along or even bothered to ask me. But on the other hand, I heard from another colleague, he td me tt last time my TL used to scold me.. but now i seems to be in good terms with them so they din tell me much!~ Haiz.. it was them who tell me how to treat my TL.. making my life easier.. now that I've achieved that, they come say this behind my back!~ And also my frien td me.. juz to be frank.. they feels that I am trying to win her favour~! Well.. seriously HELL NO would i do tt!~ If ppl who have work with me for long should know that I will not favour my boss for anything~! I can be someone who the boss hate rather than to favour someone whom i think juz becoz of work!~ Rather upset with all this issues.. Trying to act strong, brave, cheerful in front of them, but I know this will not last long as I myself is going to collapse inside.

It's not easy to handle such situations and moreover, I myself have my own affairs to settle!~ Facing so much problems is serious insane!~ I have completely shut myself down as I really dunno how to handle so many things.. it's not tt I am trying to avoid reality but rather I am really lost~! :( feeling upset but there's nth I can do.. Wanted to find him to keep me company, but he td me that he family needs him!~ So I gave up on the idea tell him things.. but there's nth much I can tell him also.. it's not tt he doesnt know wat has happened.. but if his concern is juz simplify by words of mouth then I rather not bother him!~ tt's y i understand having a r/s with someone younger than u is nv easy!~

Ytd I happened to discuss this issue with my another colleague, as she mentioned that she like someone younger than her too. She came to me for advise... but I td her.. even I myself can't handle mine, I dun think its good that she finds me for any!~ Wat i can say its tt it's nv easy to do so!~ Somehow or rather, she also feels so!~ She td me wat happens to her and I can understand how she is feeling as I myself is going thru!~ If the guy is not going to prove tt he cares, there's nth we can do abt it and the feeling will continue to go dw and we will continue to be sad abt such a thing!~ Well there's nth I can say abt this as I am trying hard to overcome this. My colleague has not decided wat she wans.. as she also believes that in a r/s, girls do want bread and love~! but in our situations, we have difficulties getting both~! Well, in any case, juz be in then!~

Celena mei, thanx for ur concern.. I understand tt u have been reading my blog and also always comfort me at times.. thanx~! Maybe this is the most a frien can do!~ If every concern is juz expressed in terms of words, then I believe this concern coming from a frien is better I suppose!~ If concern is juz express this way then wat should a gf or bf do then? Also juz by words!~ I believe this is not an answer every girls wan correct? GIRLS, Correct me if i am wrong..

Guys simply dun understand wat a ger wants I supposed.. wat more is him!~ I believe he also dunno wat I wan even though I have td him so many times.. Generally I believe he can say yes he knows, but there are no actions taken, so does this means he knows or he dunno?

Nothing much to say le I suppose!~ Anyway I heard my colleagues saying they might be a change later.. I dunno wat is that!~ Hope it is really tt gd like wat they say!~ I will juz hope and pray!~