5th August

5^th August 2004, Thurs
As usual I went to work. Today is his 1st day of work at Orchard pt. I always hope he could give me surprises but I know he will not as everything he wans is direct and also str8 forward, so I guess the more I expect, the more disappointment I will get. He called me at 4+ and I td him I going to work as Andrick ask me to go early as he planned the wrong schedule as no one is workin between 5 to 6. I went to work and we were on the phone. As I was already a little disappointed, so when he said the wrong things I was really pissed off. He td me he is reachin home and he wans to hang up. So I asked him so what if he's reaching home? Cant he tok while walkin home and cant he talk when he reached home? He td me he dun like. So I said fine. If I could reply him where and when he msg, I see my reason for him to find excuses not to tok when I still wanna tok with him. Maybe I maybe a little too demandin, but all I wan is juz to talk with him. Both of us are always demanding and we always end up quarrelling. I seriously dunno how to maintain this r/s. It is hard based on our characters. I was like quarrelling with him on the bus and until I reached there. Andrick knew something was wrong and asked me wat happened, I juz say nth. As I reached there already, I had to start work soon, so we hang up. I really feel like crying out. But I am at work, I cant. My mood for the day was juz dw for th whole nitez at work. I din really tok much today. Jasmine came today also. She also was in a bad mood coz her bf is gonna gif her the answer as whether to break or not. During closing, he came. He helped me mop the floor when he saw me mopping. I am still not happy as the whole day was bz and I haven cool dw yet. Then Xueshi td she haven sweep the floor, and he helped her sweep. I was veri veri the pissed off. I have been doing so much for the day and she still can ask him sweep and leave me doing everything again. I din blame him coz I noe he wanna us to finish early, but I am juz simply pissed off tt I have to do so much. On the way home, we din tok alot. He keep asking if I really din wanna tok to him, so I td him I really am in a bad mood, so juz let me cool dw and I will tell him when I've cool dw. He was again angry with me for not toking to him. He say he juz hope we can tok like usual. I juz din have the mood to tok not as if I dun wanna tok. Then he walked on his own, I too walked on my own. I bought drink myself and drank myself coz I was veri pissed off. Then bus came we got up, he still ask if I really dun wanna tok with him. I still td him the same thing let me cool dw 1st. In the end, I burst out, I was angry coz Xueshi asked him to sweep and he sweep. I have been doing so much the whole day and all this happens. Furthermore, I also td him tt if he thinks tt I am someone who toks alot, he is wrong. Actually I am someone who dun like to tok alot. And when I seriously dun feel like toking I really dun wished to tok and dun force me to tok if not I will be more pissed off. So friends out there, if U all really see me dun feel like toking juz let me be. You can juz tok to me in one person but not as a grp I may reply but not alot. When we got dw the bus, we also din tok much, I walked dw and fast and walked away. Finally he burst out saying I really want it to be like tt is it. So I started the quarrel with him. I td him not to be fierce anymore coz I really cannot take it anymore. But he wouldnt stop. Finally I couldnt endure anymore as I really cant take it anymore I burst into tears and din tok. He came over and hug me and say sry. Why does this always have to happen only until I cry.

Are guys onli heart soften when they see girls cry. Kelvin also like tt he is also like tt.
Seriously every nitez I have been crying over the things tt have happen. I really dun wish this to continue. How? haiz..