27th August 2004

Today!!! Today is the day I am gonna see my favourite idol's concert!! Sammi Cheng. Woah!~ Cant wait to get to see her. Hmmm.. how i wish its nite time so I can see her already. Well juz finished playing gb and at present moment, still in fight with him again. It really seems like e have to be in fight everyday. I really dunno y. Maybe its the fact tt he dun understand me well and I also dun understand him well. I really feel that watever I think he feels is not wat exactly he feel and vice versa. Seriously I give in alot to him. Yes, I may be harsh in my words, I maybe saying overboard, but all these are purely juz cracking jokes, if u really think is so serious then I cant say anythin. Yes true I may be wrong to say tt when in game I am bored coz he ks!!! I wasnt angry juz sad and bored of it. Seriously, of all the things I said to him, I really wonder does he hears in? Do we seriously understand each other? Alot of things have always been repeating itself and I am sad to see it happens and happens again.
This 2 nitez I seriously think thru alot. My dear friends, I know u all care and keep asking me Y Y and still Y. Well, I do love him. Love means love, there's no Y!! I juz feel the way I feel tt u all dun feel it. Dun ask me why again. Its really hard to explain. Tt goes the same for him, I really dunno how to explain many many things to him. I am seriously like tt. You are what u r, and I am of coz what I am. I know his character is like how, but wat i request so far can be changed and I see no reasons to say tt it is too much. But what he request, I can try but I know I wont be quite pls to do it. You all can say I am selfish, but I dun feel so. What I can say now onli is watever I have done so far is not good enough to prove what I am and how I feel for him.
Well, let's look thru the things tt is taken in consideration.
My request:
1. I request that you cover ur mouth when u yawn, this is juz a form of courtesy, I find it nice if u change.
2. I request that you say "excuse me" when u kerb, this is also a form of courtesy. Asking u to change these bad habits are not too much. I noe u need time, I am giving, tt's y i juz say hey hey what u juz did again.
3. As like what Auron have say, this few times, you have also discrimate ppl. Why is this so? You haven say much in the past, but y now? This is seriously not nice and how do u feel when the one being said is u. So dun say others seriously, you will be better seriously.
Your request:
1. You request tt I tell u where and when I am going out. As I say b4, even my mum sometimes I also dun say, so suddenly u wan me to tell u, I really find it a little not used to it coz it's not my style of life.
2. You wan me to convince u abt going out with my friends or to do somethin. Well seriously what is there to convince I really dunno. I and anyone have nth, so what is there to convince?
3. You wan me to tok like normal with u all the time, I seriously tell u I cant. When we juz quarrel how do u expect I get back my mood on the spot? Of coz I need to cool dw but yet u keep sayin me dun wan to tok to u etc. This onli adds on to my anger and not cooling me dw. At the same time, not tt I am juz angry, but also my heart hurts alot to hear u always say all these. And u end up saying when I feel like talking then I talk. Seriously I wont tok lorz, when I feel like toking, it will be seriously damn long I can tell u. I already compromise already, tt's y I say, if you wan us to tok like normal, juz tok with me. Most my friends ard me knows that I am quiet in nature. When I dun feel like toking, seriously I will not tok at all. So as I say if u wan me to tok, juz have to tok with me and I will reply and from there slowly I will regain my mood.
4. You wan me not to always say u. But seriously I am juz cracking jokes, if not my conversation will be dull. If u seriously dun like it, you really slowly have to wait tt I change coz this is not an easy task.
5. Well, you dun like me playing with my friends, beating them etc, and u can ask me what if I see u doing that to other gers? Well they are juz friends so playing with them and joking with them to me is nth, ya I may not like it but still I noe if they r ur friends then ur friens.

You like to see me happy all the time. You love me coz u always see me smile. Tt's becoz I am cheerful. Well, I am cheerful if I am myself, u r requesting me to do things not myself, tt's y i can smile and stay cheerful. Things u request is main like u wanna change my character, what I wan u to change is ur habits. Tt is seriously veri different and meant alot of difference. If I change my character, I wont be myself anymore, and do u love me for who I am in future?

I cant be a xiao nu ren like wat Jasmine say. You noe me rite from the start tt I am a stubborn ger. I wont give in. So for me to give in it's really hard. U r also stubborn, tt's y we always quarrel. If one of us dun gif in, seriously, its hard for us to maintain this r/s. I think its time we really look into it if we wan a nice r/s ahead!~

At this present moments, he can tell me tt he is not going for the concert 2molo and ask me to get wc go with me. I cant believe he say such a thing. Deep in my heart I am seriously hurt by his words. Yes he called several times and I din pick up the calls. He said he had enuff of all this. And he wont be going. I know he is angry but I am sad. I know if I tok with him, we shall will quarrel and he is gonnabe fierce again. Tt's y I dun wan to tok, I dun wish to cry another hurtful nitez. Of coz I really wan him to go, and I noe he will go. And if I dun see him 2molo, fine enuff, destiny is fixed then. I will juz let nature take its coz. I noe he will come, and he wont disappoint me. But there's always 0.01% things tt are not perfect! So I shall juz wait. Lets hope everything's gonna be alritez!~