12 Sept 2004

Today is Sunday. I juz came home from KTV at Chinatown with Henry, Richard, Daniel and Catherine. Well, din sing much as my whole mind was fill with him again.

INSANE INSANE INSANE!~ Omg, this is making me mad!~ Left Bugis early as I saw him there. I tot I could ignore but somehow NO. I have the urge to ask him if he wanna patch or not. But somehow, I juz couldnt bring myself to get close to him. I wont wait for him to come now, coz I noe he wont come either as he had already done it but I myself dun wan. I myself also dun wanna do anything abt it le juz let it be. Life is making me insane. In ktv, I really felt like crying each song I sing and each mtv of other ppl who sing the song. They knew I was sad and Richard dedicate my favourite sad song to let me sing it out. The chinese children song "小毛驴" - Donkey for me to cheer up. Thanx man!~ As I was singing, it did helped me cheer up alittle as everyone was laughing.

I tot it thru already, I am not going to patch back no matter how much I miss him. I may not be his best 可爱的女人 that he will ever remember, but I will remember him as my 小猪猪 always. I really wanna walk forward to him and tell me thank you for everything and also say I am sorry, can we be friends? But I couldnt bring myself to do anything. Well all these times, I could onli peek at him but no directly look into his eyes. It's not becoz I am guilty, it's juz tt I am afraid I will cry again.

I really muz put a stop in this thing already. As he has already stop mentioning anything abt me, I shall also force myself not to mention him anymore.

I went shopping today to ease my sorrow. Bought myself a pair of shoes, bag, undies!! Haha.. Got something special, dun wanna say its wat, when the day comes, I will say. Actually shoppig din really ease my sorrow. I need to get black shoes basically for my other job, tt's y it's not enjoyment anymore. Ernest Kia accompanied me shopping and later to Bugis arcade I find Wei Cheng they all. As I din have the mood, and felt sad seeing him as well, and also I couldnt bring myself to him, I choose to leave the place.

Basically it's not much today. One day juz pass by like this. Later I will be going to AMK to work.. so sianz.. so far and is full shift, 12 - 930!! How I wished someone is here to fetch me home in the long journey so I can lie on his shoulders and grab his arms and rest. Sad to say.. nahz.. I am dreaming!~ Haiz.. Last but not least I want to say this. I noe he arent seeing here. If anyone ever sees him, pls kindly let him noe I did once love him and treasure him. Fate brought us together but destiny brought us apart!~ Now at the moment, I still wish to tell you I LOVE YOU!! I wont bring any more problems to u ppl!~ Thanx for all this while that you all have accompanied me thru the hardship. I will move on my life to do wat I should do, enjoy wat I should enjoy. I am not young anymore. I need to accomplish many things soon b4 I get older. Well I finally decide it well as my friens all worry for me and td me to give up and not go back. I should lead a much happier life. Thanx for all ur concern, I will moved on and not disappoint you!~